The Report from Potter's Point : February

by VernWinterbottom (Christopher J. Richard)

Well, not an awful lot went on in Potter’s Point last month, except for the meeting of the ad hoc committee on what to do about the Zenas W. Potter Elementary School.

If you’re not one of the 167 persons who subscribe to the Potter’s Point Press, you may have missed the news that the entire interior of the school collapsed on the final day of school last June when custodian Frank St. Bernard slammed the back door. Virgil Boggs, the town’s acting Building/Plumbing/Shellfish Inspector, determined that the beams of the 135-year-old structure had been gnawed away by squirrels. Contributing to the stress on the old building were some 626 bushels of acorns in the attic.

Since last September, the grade school children have been going to classes at the high school, while the high school students were transferred temporarily to the cellars of Point Methodist and St. Christopher’s churches.

At the urging of School Superintendent Newton Berkshire, the five-person School Committee voted to have its three-person Elementary School subcommittee appoint an ad hoc panel of citizens to develop a rebuilding plan. This special committee was to be made up of a school committee representative, a parent, a businessperson, a lawyer, and a member of the Architectural History Advocacy Bureau (AHAB). It turns out that the School Committee’s members — Ragnhild Larson, Helen Haskins, Prudence Worthy, Pollock Jackson and Wallace Slope — meet those requirements themselves, so they became the members of the new ad hoc group.

The committee’s first hurdle was deciding whether or not to renovate the old Zenas W. Potter School, which the town’s founder had built in 1867 with the profits from his railroad and tavern empire.

Prudence Worthy, who had gone to school there in the 1940s, and Wallace Slope, a Zenas Potter historian and AHAB member, came down firmly on the side of keeping the old brick walls.

“That school was the first thing Zenas Potter built in this town. . . after the bank and the public house,” said Wallace Slope. “It’s typical of the simple, post-Civil War, urban schoolhouse design.”

“It’s an old brick box,” said Helen Haskins. “With windows. If it’s typical, doesn‘t that mean there are a lot of them around?”

“It has a mansard roof,” said Slope.

“So does the Pizza Shack over in Hope Falls.”

“But this building means so much to the people, “ Prudence Worthy said. “There are just so many memories. Why, I remember the first time I was kissed in school by Roland Hathaway, in the little alcove in the second floor corridor.”

“Roland Hathaway gave you your first kiss?” blurted Slope. “Um. . .” He quickly shut his mouth.

“Remember the Maypole dances?” asked Prudence. “And Miss White playing the tuba?”

Ragnhild Larson, who sat knitting something that looked like a furry shower curtain, raised an eyebrow. She had been in school with Prudence. “And who could forget the All-American League that harassed the children with blonde hair who pronounced their Ws like Vs? That was a hoot, was it not?”

“Could we talk about this century for a minute?” asked Helen Haskins. “School has changed a lot since we were there. Did you realize that there was only one electrical outlet in each classroom? That to hook up computers they’ve been running an extension cord from the house next door?”

“And is it true they’ve been getting the handicapped children up to the second floor in the book elevator with a rope and pulley?” asked Pollock Jackson.

“In the name of historical preservation, I say the town should restore the school to its original state,” said Wallace Slope.

“Which would be with no indoor plumbing and with whale oil lamps for light, right?” asked Helen Haskins.

“Listen,” said Pollock Jackson. “All we have now are the walls and the roof. But they are in very good shape. Old Zenas built that thing like a brick outhouse.”

“There was, in fact, a brick outhouse originally,” said Slope.

After a few months of “discussion,” the committee finally decided that rather than building a whole new school, the old building should be rebuilt. The group then drew up some plans that three out of five of them could agree on, with Prudence Worthy and Wallace Slope, in the name of tradition, holding out for iron-and-wood desks bolted to the floor.

The first public hearing on the plan drew a large crowd to the Town Hall, although a couple dozen folks showed up only because they were under the impression that refreshments would be served.

Right away the matter of financing was raised. Pollock Jackson, on the sub-sub-sub-committee for revenue, had put together a plan to pay for the school.

“We have an offer from the last surviving members of the Poppanogomasket Tribe of Potter’s Point,” said Jackson. “They will pay for the entire school. We just have to let them put in some slot machines and blackjack tables. It will be called the Zenas White Potter Elementary School and Casino.”

At once, the entire San Miguel family stood up to protest. There are about 67 of them, all faithful members of St. Christopher’s Church. The first to speak was Tony San Miguel IV. “I’m morally opposed to this on the grounds that it will cut into the church’s bingo profits.”

Tony’s second cousin, Tony J. San Miguel, Jr., agreed, adding, “There’s no place for gambling outside of the religious environment.”

Tony’s father, Tony “Antone” San Miguel, rose from his seat. “These Poppanogomaskets aren’t a recognized tribe. There’s only three of them. They’re not even a troop.” This was met by applause from the rest of the San Miguels. “There’s lots of questions to be answered here.”

Tony’s sister-in-law, Colleen O’Reilly San Miguel, raised her hand to be recognized. “Will they have a hot and cold buffet and Wayne Newton?”

Pollock Jackson called for order. “The tribe’s representative, who also served as a consultant for the television show The Sopranos, assures me this is as legit as taxing prescription drugs. I also have a study that shows that figuring gambling odds can bring up MCAS test scores for math.”

Prudence Worthy added, “In the lobby they’re going to install an historical diorama to educate the children about Native-American commerce.”

That seemed to make little impression on the audience.

“What are the alternatives?” came a voice from the middle of the crowd.

The committee members looked at each other. “Um. . .” Silence fell.

A few of the old fellas, including Pop Stokes, Vern Winterbottom, and Bud Clinkerbilt, having discovered there would be no refreshments, headed out to VFW Hall.

Haddie Finnan, whom everyone thought had been dozing in the corner, stood up. “I got nothin’ against them Poppynogs,” she said. “But I don’t think we want ’em runnin’ our school. Course I ain’t crazy about my taxes goin’ up either. So I think we should hold some bake sales.”

“Do you have any idea how many cranberry breads and cupcakes it will take to raise eighteen million dollars?” asked Helen Haskins.

“You got a better idea?” snapped Haddie.

The next public hearing on the new school was scheduled for the middle of next month. Baked goods will be on sale in the lobby.

That’s the Report from Potter’s Point for this month. Hope to see you soon!

EDITORS’S NOTE: The Town of Potter’s Point, population 3,717, is located in the southeastern part of Massachusetts, on the shore of Butler’s Bay. Its primary industries are cranberry growing, boat building and quahogging.

COPYRIGHT 2003 by Christopher J. Richard. All Rights Reserved.