As a ninja, I feel it is my duty to report to you the ninja factor of the major release consoles released major by such major modern companies as ninjatendo, soninjadeadly and Microninjasoft. A good ninja is skilled in the deadly, and as a good ninja I must report to you the deadly ways of the gaming systems. A good ninja is also skilled in the way of quickly mixing up words in a way to confuse enemies by using odd placement of words in which the skill of the deadly is used to strike down the reader in the words.

Anyway, on to my deadly killing machine kung fu-style review.

XBox, made by Minajasoftninjakillingsoft.

Since this system is clearly made for giants, or even more likely, ridiculously oversized giants, it is good to have a giant friend for this technique. Ask your friend to hold up the massive unit and place it over the sun to cause an effect of that which is like a lunar eclipse. As your enemy is confused as to what has caused this unexpected darkness, quickly motion to your friend to get him to throw down the system. As the system enters the atmosphere, it will become hotter and hotter. Jump out of the way before the giant asteroid gaming machine crushes you in its impact.

Gamecudeadlyninjaforce, made by Ninjatendojo.

This deadly technique requires at least a dozen multicolored gamecube units and game discs. Sneak up on the victim of the deadly, gently and being respectful of that person’s private space, and tap them on the shoulder. Quickly hurl all the systems and discs at the person. The massive amounts of bright primary colors and strange creatures and scenes will create an effect that is similar to a bad LSD trip. While the victim is off snorting cookie dough with Kirby, quickly pull out some sharpened game discs and perform the killing move.

PSNINJA2NINJA, made by SoNinjanyinja.

The PS2 system is perfect for the deadly ways of the ninja, because it blends into the shadows well and prevents any person from seeing you clearly even in broad daylight. You can tape several units to your entire body, turning you into the perfect shade. Challenge your victim to a fight in a coal mine during a blackout with one hand and foot tied behind their back; with the only weapons allowed are daggers with a five-minute time limit with only a TKO counting as a win. If the person refuses, it is clear they are not a worthy adversary and weak.

In the contest of the deadly ways of the ninja, I would give the award to the GameCube for its unique but still deathly deadly ways of getting rid of an enemy.

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