Goat Cheese and Herb Soufflé
or
Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Run

by Stephi

The soufflé. When professional chefs have nightmares, they have soufflé nightmares. They dream of over beaten egg whites and lumpy béarnaise sauces. They dream of fallen dishes, burnt tops, and dry interiors. Many a chef has run screaming from the kitchen over a fallen soufflé.

Of course, I'm not a professional chef, but I've met one. Or at least, I've glimpsed one from afar. Ok, I've definitely seen a few on TV. I think they wear white. But I'm not sure about that.

This recipe assumes you have a basic level of cooking knowledge. If you don't know what "simmer" or "stir" means, you probably shouldn't try this. Try ordering some take-out -- if you can operate a telephone, that is.

For this recipe, you will need a couple basic but essential items. Don't try to make this without these. Your kitchen might blow up. Or something. And, of course, you need all of the usual stuff like bowls and measuring cups. Yeah, don't try to do this without an oven.

A wire whisk
6 small ramekins (also called soufflé cups)
A stainless steel or copper bowl
Electric beaters.

Now, on to the recipe itself.

Butter for greasing the cups.
6 Tbs. of grated Parmesan cheese

3/4-cup whole milk
3 large egg yolks

2 Tbs. (1/4 stick) butter

1/2 cup finely chopped shallots
2 tsp. chopped fresh thyme
1 tsp. chopped fresh rosemary

2 Tbs. all-purpose flour

1 cup crumbled, soft, fresh goat cheese (such as Montrachet)
3/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
Large pinch of cayenne pepper

4 large egg whites

Preheat the oven to 375 F.

Grease all the cups with the butter, making sure to coat them completely. Take 2 Tbsp of the Parmesan cheese, put it in one of the cups, invert another over the top, and shake them together. You'll be left with a nice coating of Parmesan cheese inside both cups, with a little left over in the bottom of one cup. Do the same for the other cups, making sure there's a little cheese left over in the bottom of each cup. If there's more in one, just pour it out into another. It doesn't have to be perfect; you're not Martha Stewart.

Place the cups on a baking sheet and put them into the freezer.

Now you need to separate the eggs. I suggest you use three bowls; one small bowl for separating the eggs, one for the yolks, and one for the whites. Take an egg and crack it into the small bowl. Now, you can either do it the traditional way, moving the egg yolk back and forth between the broken shells, or you can use my Cheaters Way: crack the egg into a small bowl and use a metal slotted spoon to remove the yolk. Do not use a plastic spoon. Do not expose your egg whites to any plastic or grease! Make sure no yolk gets into the egg white! If any yolk gets into your egg white, you have to get rid of the whole damn thing and start again! Which is why you use three bowls; if you screw up, you get rid of what's in the small bowl, wash it, and use another egg.

Whew, that was scary. See why chefs have nightmares about this stuff? Now take 3 egg yolks and whisk in the milk. Using that whisk I mentioned earlier. You know, the one I said was essential?

Next, take a saucepan and melt the butter over medium heat. Don't turn it up too high or you'll burn the butter! When it's melted, add the shallots and the herbs and cook for three minutes. (By the way, you could also use red onions. Or dried herbs, or even different herbs if you wanted. Just use a bit less.) Add the flour and cook while whisking for a minute. Now add the milk and egg mixture and, what else, whisk again! Whisk for about two minutes until it's thick and bubbling.

When it gets thick, remove the pan from the heat (You don't want the bottom to burn.) and whisk in half the goat cheese, the salt, pepper and cayenne until it all melts together into a gooey, thick, yummy sauce.

It's time to let that cool and beat those four egg whites. This is the part most people screw up, so listen carefully. First of all, make sure you have a stainless steel or glass bowl and make sure it is absolutely clean! Do not use a plastic bowl or a plastic spatula or let any plastic touch the egg whites.

Beat the egg whites until they are stiff but not dry. What the hell does that mean? You can test them this way: pull the beaters out of the egg white and look at the peak. Does it stand up straight or does it bend over a little or does it not stand up at all? (Ok, this is starting to sound like a Playboy letter. "Dear Playboy. I never thought this would happen to me, but my peaks won't stand up straight...")

You want the egg white to stand up a little but fall over a bit near the top. If you're unsure, UNDERDO IT RATHER THAN OVERDO IT! If you under-beat the egg white, you'll still get some lift, but not as much. But if you overdo it, your soufflé will completely fail to rise.

Now that you've beaten your whites, you should take one quarter of the whites (Approximately -- you don't have to be exact. You're not Martha Stewart, remember?) and fold the egg white into the now-warm milk mixture.

What the hell is folding? It's essentially gentle stirring with a down-across-up-and-over motion. Start in the center, cut down, scrape across the side, and then flip what's on the spoon onto the centre. Give it a quarter turn and repeat.

Now fold in the rest of the goat cheese and half of the remaining egg white. Then fold in the rest of the egg white.

Take your soufflé dishes out of the freezer and pour the soufflé mix into each dish. Then take the dish and tap it against the counter GENTLY to remove any air bubbles. (Don't tap it so hard it shatters. Not that I've ever done that. Ahem.) Bake for 15-20 minutes, until the tops are puffed and golden brown.

Serve your soufflé on a bed of greens or straight from the oven.

Hopefully, if you followed all the directions carefully, you'll have a nice, puffy, fluffy, golden soufflé. If not, you'll still have a nice little omelet in a fancy dish! You can't loose! Well, OK, you can if you do all this work only to find that your husband has ordered pizza.