by Fenris
Adventures in Pseudo-Scholarship: Episode 1
The first of a possible series of articles where I reserve the right to assume facts not in evidence, to treat as given unproven assumptions and in general, to make up whatever I want.
Bubblegum Music as a Force for Social Change: A Treatise
The Beatles or 1910 Fruitgum Company? Which has had the more important social impact? The answer may astound you!
It seems to me that for decades, Bubblegum music has been, by music fans and historians alike, denigrated as shallow and lightweight. I feel they haven't examined the underlying nuances of the songs. In this article, I shall briefly examine some of the more common themes and mores found in Bubblegum music as a force for social change.
The song that is the archetypal Bubblegum song is Sugar, Sugar by The Archies. Often used by critics in their attempt to undermine the artistic nuances of the genre, it actually provides one of the most powerful examples of The Archies attempt to raise the consciousness of their audience.
Let's examine a bit of the lyrics, shall we?:
Sugar, Oh honey, honey
You are my candy, girl
And you got me wanting you
When I kissed you, girl, I knew how sweet a kiss could
be
(I knew how sweet a kiss could be)
Like the summer sunshine, pour your sweetness over me
(Pour your sweetness over me)
To the uninquisitive mind, granted, this looks like a love song. But a bit of deeper examination shows that this song is actually about a man, probably grossly overweight and out-of-shape in the throes of a sugar addiction. His body chemistry is so badly off that every single comparison he makes is to something sweet: "you are my candy", "how sweet a kiss", "like...sunshine, pour your sweetness". Remember, this song was performed in the mid-to-late '60s, before the health-conscious mentality of the '70s and beyond. Clearly, The Archies were prophets for our times, warning us in this cautionary song to avoid high carb/high sugar diets! Dr. Atkin's diet wasn't popularized for years! Were The Beatles this prescient? I think not!
Another of The Archies most powerful and moving songs is One Big Family. Up until this song, music had been afraid to take on tough issues like war (and in another song Mr. Factory, pollution (Hey, Mr. Factory! Dontcha care?/Soon the little children won't have any air!), but The Archies, with the following heart-rending lyrics set the stage for every anti-war song ever written:
I've got a brother in Birmingham
I've got a brother in Amsterdam
I've got a brother in Kokomo
I've got a brother everywhere I go
We're one big family
And our Daddy's in the sky
We're one big family
Don't you make your brother cry.
"Our Daddy's in the sky". Simply beautiful. The imagery juxtaposing God as a "daddy" with the stark realities of war ("make your brother cry") are so profound and succinct that I say, with not a trace of irony that had Mozart, Handel, Shakespeare and John Milton collaborated with Dylan, Lennon, Sondheim and Woody Guthrie, their work would have to be seen as hack-like by comparison
But it doesn't end there! Oh no. There were many Bubblegum groups outside The Archies.
Ohio Express, for example penned Yummy, Yummy, Yummy (I got Love in My Tummy), a clear message in favor of oral over vaginal or anal sex as a safety precaution against venereal disease. In this, the era of AIDs and other STDs, should we not at least consider the words of these prophets?
Yummy, Yummy, Yummy,
I got love in my tummy,
And I feel like a-lovin you!
Love, you're such a sweet thing,
Good enough to eat thing
And that's just a-what I'm gonna do.
Setting the stage for the massive social upheavals of the early '70s, the phrases "Love in my tummy" and "good enough to eat thing" are clearly suggestive of oral sex. And Ohio Express was the first group with the courage to deal with this sensitive issue. In addition, they showed the sensitivity to suggest that the woman should gain pleasure for the sexual act as well. Even Alan Alda wasn't this enlightened!
Or what of 1910 Fruitgum Company's ballad One, Two, Three, Red Light?
Ev'ry time I try to prove I love you,
1,2,3, Red Light,
You stop me.
Baby you ain't right to stop me.
1,2,3, Red Light, you stop me.
What progressive lyrics, in those free-love halcyon days before Tailhook and "No means no"! The singer, though not happy with the womyn's choice ("you ain't right to stop me") accepts it! This is only two or three years after The Beatles did a song (Run For Your Life) about a man's right to kill a woman who cheats on him. How far ahead of their time 1910 Fruitgum Company was! And it's a lesson we would all do well to learn!
There's Guided Missiles by The Cufflinks about the US/Soviet nuclear arms buildup and the Cuban missile crisis:
Guided missiles
Bound to explode
Destroying my heart is your goal
Have you ever heard of a better summary of the Cuban Missle Crisis than saying that "destroying (JFK's) heart was (Nikita Krushev)'s goal? I certainly haven't!
There's Ooh-Wakka-Doo-Wakka-Day by Gilbert O'Sullivan
She's got a brother
Like any other
Who got his nose caught
Inside a gate
And when they freed him
It so relieved him
that he went "Ooh-Wakka-Doo-Wakka-Day!"
"Gate". Like as in "Watergate"? The brother therefore must represent none other than Richard Nixon!! "Freed him"?! Did O'Sullivan somehow catch wind of Ford's pardoning of Nixon years earlier (1972?!) Who else would have the courage to take on Tricky Dick at the height of his power?
I could go on and on, but I think I've made my point. Bubblegum is more important and a greater force for social change than The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, and Mother Theresa combined! Let me close with a brief examination of one of my favorite Bubblegum songs, a paen of understanding for the mentally ill, homeless and disaffected people amongst us by Edison Lighthouse:
She ain't got no money
Her clothes are kinda funny
Her hair is kinda wild and free
Ah but love grows
Where my Rosemary goes
and nobody knows like me
She talks kinda lazy
People say she's crazy
And our love's a mystery
Ah but love grows
Where my Rosemary goes
and nobody knows like me
So next time you see a homeless person, do as Edison Lighthouse suggests and look behind the torn "funny" clothing, the lack of funds, and the..."crazy" behavior and try to see the Rosemary in him or her. The world would be a better place if we all tried to see each other's inner Rosemary.
Fenris, PhB*
*PhB: Doctor of Bullshitology