To My Unborn Child
by Arden Ranger
I didn't ask for you,
I never do.
Just when I'm thinking life couldn't be better,
There you are.
Smiling at me,
Laughing blue eyes
Framed by dark curls.
Looking exactly as you would if things had been different;
If fate had been kind.
I've never told anyone this,
But, I miss holding you,
Watching you grow.
I’ll never know
The beautiful young woman
I know you would have been.
I’ll never know my daughter’s sister,
Something I always wanted
In a house full of men.
Never see my son as the protective older brother,
I never had.
Everything I ever longed for,
You could have achieved.
You could have been the writer
Of the critically acclaimed bestseller.
You could have been the astronaut
Touring Saturn’s rings.
You could have been the archeologist
Discovering the lost desert tombs of ancient kings.
Instead, there will always be the
Vast Egyptian plain
In my life where you
Should be.
Perhaps,
Someday,
I'll be able to tell someone about you
Without tears.
But
Not today.
Today
I cry.