Penance

by Arden Ranger

When he walked in the bar, I knew it was going to be one of those nights. You know the ones I’m talking about, I can tell by the look on your face. In fact, you’re thinking that exact same thought right now. Give me that bottle of Cuervo so I don’t have to keep pointing at my glass and take a break while I tell you a story.

Cigarette?

Anyway, like I said, I knew it was going to be one of those nights when this guy walked in. It was like something sucked all the life outta the bar the minute he opened the door. Ya’ know the place I work, The Raven? Yeah, the owner’s kinda weird, hell, most everybody that walks in is odd. But ya’ get used to it after a while. But this guy, he made them all look like bankers.

What? Nah, he didn’t look weird or anything, it was somethin’ about him. Ya know the expression ‘bout a dark cloud following someone? That was it, you could cut the tension with a knife and spread it with the depression that hung over this guy. He was morose. Jesus, it depresses me just thinking about it. Is it cold in here to you?

I was afraid of that.

So I’m working the bar and everything is business as usual, the weird crowd, damn alternative music I don’t understand, in lights so dim I’m working by touch. I didn’t hear the door buzzer, but somebody musta let him in, ‘cause there he was. I knew somethin’ was up when all the talkin’ at the bar stopped and all those little noises that are always there but ya don’t really notice, they stopped too. That got my attention.

I turned ‘round, not knowing what to expect, it’s the Raven after all, and this guy was kinda slumped over the bar. He looked up at me, never said a word mind you, just stared at me. For some reason, I poured him a scotch-neat. Musta been what he wanted, cause he drank it I just stood there, pouring this guy’s drinks. Five of ‘em, one right after another.

He didn’t order anything, I just knew what he wanted.

No, I would remember this guy, he’d never been there before. Look, I’m only so-so with faces but I’m great with drinks. I remember the ones who drink this much.

Ya’ know what else was weird? Some of the regulars, they were avoiding him like the plague. No, this guy didn’t feel dangerous, not to anybody but himself. But they wouldn’t get within arm’s length and you could tell they wanted to, wanted to talk to him so bad I could taste it.

What? Yeah, he did finally talk, not that it made a lot of sense to me.

I was still standing there, holding a bottle of scotch. He finally looked up from his drink, kinda smiled wryly at me and started to speak , but he saw somethin’ in the mirror and a shadow crossed his face.

I’m not bein’ dramatic, there’s just no other way to describe it. It was like that black cloud that followed him in had settled over his face and he glared at whatever he saw behind him in the mirror.

Don’t know, when I figured out what was goin’ on, I looked, but I didn’t see anything unusual; well except that the crowd behind him had moved even farther back. It was bizarre I tell ya’.

Anyway, gotta light? Thanks. I always thought these things would kill me someday, now I’m not so sure.

So, I finally get up the nerve to ask this guy his name. Shaun, he says, just Shaun. When I asked him what he does for a livin’, know what he says? "I lie to the woman I love."

No, really, I said, how do you earn your keep? Mind you, this guy has had five scotches in a row and is nursing his sixth. Whadda ya’ mean , So? Do ya wanna hear this or not?

OK. So, this Shaun character spins around on the barstool, throws his arms open and announces loudly to the room, "I’m working for the Prince of Chicago"

Everybody just sat there and stared at the guy, but, they weren’t lookin’ at him like a nut case, they were shocked and some of ‘em were scared shitless. I don’t know why, do ya’ think I stopped and took a poll?

Anyway, he spins back around to face me and says, "Actually, I work for both of ‘em."

Both of who, I asked. . . . "Both of the Princes" he says.

Now, I have no idea what the guy’s talkin’ about, so I ask him if he’s in some kinda cult. I can’t help but notice that the patrons are lookin’ kinda nervous when Shaun starts laughing. . . . can’t say I blame ‘em, it was a cold, bitter laugh.

All of a sudden, he stops laughin’ and gives this guy beside him a real cold look . . . . frigid. . . . it made me shiver. They glared at each other for what seemed like forever until Shaun kinda hissed something at the guy. His jaw was clenched so tight. I couldn’t make it out. The guy whispered something back and Shaun leans back a little, puts his arm around this guy’s shoulders and smiles one of those smiles that don’t quite reach the eyes. He turns to me and says in a real loud voice, "Hey bartender, say hello to my friend, Al Capone. Don’t be rude Al, say hello to the man."

I know Al, he’s a regular, didn’t know his name was Capone though; uses the place for business meetings. So I nod to him, asked him if he needed anything and compliment his tie.

Yes, his tie. Hey, you should see this guy. Italian, I think. Snappy dresser, tailored suits, silk ties-very sharp. Usually pretty happy guy. At the moment though, he was lookin’ pretty stressed. Kept tellin’ this guy, "You need to keep it down. Remember where you are."

Shaun just laughed at him, said "Whattcha gonna do Ventrue, bite me?" Then he waves this Egyptian lookin’ necklace in his face and says, "Oh, I forgot. You can’t." Really pissed Al off, too.

Why are ya’ askin’ me? I don’t know what Ventrue means; maybe it was some slur on Al’s heritage. Anyway, they just sit there starin’ at each other when all of a sudden, one of the mirrors behind the bar shattered. Scared the shit outta me.

I didn’t see anybody throw anything, I guess they could have. I wasn’t really paying anyone else any attention. I’ll tell ya’ a secret, you’re gonna think I’m crazy, but, the mirror didn’t just break. To me it looked like it exploded out from the wall.

I know it’s sounds crazy. I told ya’ it would. But I swear, there was glass five feet out from the bar. People were scattering everywhere and all the while, Shaun and Al just kept starin’ at each other. Then Shaun reaches in his pocket, pulls out some dice and start rattlin’ them in his hand. He kinda smiles at Al, like he’s darin’ him to do something and says "Don’t you just hate this music?" Then he throws the dice down on the bar.

Nothing happened. I don’t think anyone was breathin’ though. The entire bar breathed a sigh of relief after those dice hit the bar. I don’t know what I was expectin’, it just seemed like somethin’ was supposed to happen. I told you it was a weird damn place to work.

Why? Cause they pay me too damn much to quit, that’s why. I’d rather not say.

‘Cause it would just make ya’ feel bad if you knew how overpaid I really was.

Well, it’s pretty tense at the bar now and I tell Shaun if there’s gonna be trouble, he and Al need to take it outside cause the owner gets really pissed when fights break out and her stuff gets broke. He gives Al this smirk, looks around the room and says, kinda smug, "Don’t worry, my friend, nobody’s gonna start anything. Are you guys?" Everybody that was payin’ attention kinda muttered and found somethin’ else to look at. Then he turns to Al and says, "Good to see you again, Al. We’ll have to do this again real soon." Sarcastic SOB. Al starts to say somethin, changes his mind and stalks out the door. Shaun laughs to himself and starts contemplatin’ the universe in the bottom of his glass. He’s pretty stoned by now, so I pour him another and start sweepin’ up glass.

‘Bout five minutes later, the crowd started gettin’ agitated in the back of the bar and I go to see what the problem is. Damn jukebox was havin’ a breakdown. Sparks and smoke comin’ outta the back.

You’re jokin’, right? He never left the bar, how would he have busted the jukebox? With his dice? I tried to tell Helena that thing was a piece of crap, but she just had to have it.

Helena? She’s the owner. Dresses in leather and wears sunglasses all the time.

So, I’m behind the jukebox tryin’ to figure out what the problem is, when I overhear these guys talkin’. "Don’t you think somebody oughta call the Prince? We can’t do anything to him, but we can’t just stand by while he jeopardizes all of us." one of ‘em says.

And I’m thinkin’, "the Prince?" What’s gotten in to these people? First this character at the bar and now these guys.

Then somebody else says, "If he’s breaking our laws then he should be punished."

Okay, I say to myself, he’s been kind of a jerk, but he hasn’t broken any laws. Not that I’ve seen anyway.

Somebody else says "Punished? Do you want to be the one that brings that up to Alexandra? Or perhaps you’re ready for Final Death and plan to try it yourself."

"Final death?" I’m thinkin’, is there another kind? I decide I’d better stay right where I am till these guys wander off and before too long, they agree that if it were anybody but Shaun, they’d call "the Prince." Apparently, Shaun is some high muckety-muck to this Alexandra and they’re afraid to tell on him.

Why do you keep askin’ me what that means? Do I look like I’ve achieved enlightenment from this tequila? I haven’t got the slightest idea what any of it means, but it makes me edgy. Why do ya’ think I’m talkin’ about it?

After about ten minutes, I give up tryin’ to fix the box and go turn on the sound system. Just as I walk outta the booth, I notice some kid has gotten the balls to try and talk to Shaun. He just sits there, waitin for him to notice him. Finally he turns to the kid, sizes him up and says, "So, come here often?" The kid just stares back at him, like he’s surprised Shaun’s actually speaking to him. He finally nods his head and Shaun says, "I didn’t think so, you look like you’ve got too much life in ya to be hanging around this bunch of stiffs. Need a drink?"

The kid looked over his shoulder at this groupa’ guys who were starin’ at him and they started makin’ these signals, tryin’ to encourage him or somethin’. So the kid turns to Shaun and says, "So, what’s your problem?"

Shaun looks at him, turns and looks at the guys friends who are gigglin’ like a buncha school kids. Course, that stopped soon as they realized he was lookin’, but he keeps starin’ at em for a while longer till they started squirmin’, then he turns back to the kid, puts his arm around his shoulder and says, "Well, I guess I can tell you. Judging by the company you keep, you won’t be around long enough to do any real harm." Kid went white as a sheet, his eyes were like, this big around. He tried to pull back from Shaun, but he won’t let go of the kid. Instead he leans in close and starts whisperin’. I had to go find somethin to do down there to hear it, but Shaun was too far gone to really care.

"It goes like this. My girlfriend, the great and powerful Prince Alexandra, is going to find something out tonight that’s gonna really piss her off--at me." He looks down at his watch and sighs, "In fact, she’s probably hearing it about now. So you see, my little friend, I’m kinda depressed, kinda nervous and maybe just a tad bit upset with the kind of creatures that hang out here. Because most of the people that got me into this mess are just like these people." He points over his shoulder and winks at the kid, "Like your friends back there."

Shaun holds up his glass and stares into it for a minute, like the answers to all his troubles are in there. Then he sighs and without lookin’ at the kid, he tells him, "She knows some people, very powerful people, who decided they needed to test her resolve, needed to see how she’d react to perceived danger to something important to her, namely me. Said they just had to know if she was going to fight or roll over and take it. It was all a set up, staged just to see how she’d perform. Do you know she killed the previous Prince? Staked her and sent her into the Dreaming, wherever the hell that is. Then scared every Primogen in Chicago into backing her as the new Prince. These ‘friends’ of hers have been watching her this whole time seeing how she handles power, whether or not she can hold on to it. May they all rot in Hell. Of course, it wasn’t really the Prince she staked, it was Tyler’s body double. She’s finding that out right about now. From Tyler. Who Alexandra’s been beating herself up for killing."

Then he turns back to the kid and looks real close at him. Neither one of em says a word, just stare at each other. That’s when I noticed the silence. I looked around, thinkin’ I’d been so involved in this line that guy was feedin’ to the kid that I had missed everybody leavin’. But they were all listenin’, couldn’t have heard a word he said, but it sure looked like they were tryin. I turn back around and there’s Al again. Ya wouldn’t think a guy that size could be so quiet. Anyway, he leans down to Shaun and whispers somethin’ I didn’t catch but it made Shaun smile in a scary sorta way.

He turns to Al and says, "I can’t imagine there’s anything worse than what’s going on at Elysium right now and what’s going to happen when she gets a hold of me. Besides, it’ll all be common knowledge before the end of the week." He turns back to the kid and asks, "Anything else you want to know or have you fulfilled their initiation requirements?"

The kid leans over and in this real strained voice asks, "But I don’t understand. Why are you gonna be in trouble?"

Shaun looks at the kid, looks at Al and turns to me and says, "He doesn’t get it, can you believe it?" Then he laughs this nasty kinda laugh, gets in the kid’s face and yells, "Because I knew! I was part of that damn plot! I’ve known for months and I said nothing! NOTHING! I had to stand by quietly and watch her deal with all this crap alone. She’s scared, she’s tired, she’s wracked with guilt over what she thinks she did to rescue me, she had to quit working at the only thing she ever wanted to do to hold this godforsaken city and she doesn’t trust anybody. Except me and I don’t deserve it. You still don’t see? It’s bad enough that the man who’s been like a father to me is involved and worse that her mentor was the one who thought up this little scheme in the first place. But I’m the one that betrayed her. They, being older and wiser, got to sit back and look thoughtful. But me, I had to LIE to her. DO YOU GET IT NOW?"

I tell ya, I never saw anyone move as fast as that kid did to get outta there. Then Shaun turned and snarled at the kids friends and then they took out. I damn near fell getting to the door release button.

Cause I had to open the damn door! I’m tellin’ ya, he had them so worked up they would've gone through the window to get out. That would've pissed off Helena. I get the feelin’ that would be a real bad idea. Besides, ‘bout half the patrons followed them out.

Well just how would I know? Maybe they had to call in a story. I’m a bartender for cryin’ out loud, not Jeffrey the Magnificent, Mind Reader Extraordinare.

Anyway, I missed what Al had to say to Shaun before he took off again. By the time I made sure everyone who wanted to go was out, the Italian was gone too. So I go back to Shaun and I ask him why did go and tell the kid somethin’ like that for? He looks at me kinda funny, shrugs and says, "Because he asked." Like I’m stupid or somethin’.

Hey, when I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

I’m not either. You’d be jumpy too if you’d had these people in here tonight. Somethin’ about that place, the regulars that come in. When I first started workin’ there I thought it was some sort of gang hangout, a real expensive gang hangout. There’s some tough lookin’ guys come through. Sit right by those opera types. Now I don’t know what kinda place it is, except weird.

What? No, that’s not all.

All right already. Let me light another cigarette. Jeez.

So, anyway, Shaun’s still drinkin’ himself into a coma, but it’s pretty quiet since the crowd thinned out and it’s gettin’ close to quitin’ time when the door opens all by itself and these two guys come in with this chick. The first guy looks to be about sixty, very distinguished and on a mission. He was carryin’ a really cool wooden cane with a dragon carved around it. When the light hit it just right, the dragon looked alive. It looked older than God.

The other guy’s a Fox Mulder clone.

You know they type. Dark Suit, black trench coat, face carved in stone. I could just imagine him whippin’ out his badge and sayin’ "FBI. Would you mind stepping into the car, please?" I kinda’ doubt anybody ever argued with this guy.

Pay attention. I have to, get it, have to buzz people in. Not just anybody can walk in ya’ know. I’ve told you this before. Ya’ have to have the password. The only people who just walk in are Helena and the staff. These guys just waltzed right through a locked door. Are we clear now?

The woman in the group, she looked a worried mother. Or would have if she had been old enough to be somebody’s mother. Petite, long brown hair, very nice. She heads straight for Shaun with the guys right behind her. They surround him and just stand there. I can tell he knows they’re there, but he’s ignoring ‘em. His expression is pretty grim, so I figure there’s gonna be trouble and head for the bar. I hear a couple of people say things like, "Finally," and "It’s about damn time." So I figure at least some of the regulars know who these guys are. I mosey over to Shaun, pour him another drink and kinda casually ask him if everything’s all right. He gives a brief nod and says, "Thanks, I can handle it."

Okay, I think, I’ve done my duty, but my curiosity has finally gotten the best of me and I find somethin’ to do in earshot. I can see Shaun in what’s left of the mirror makin’ a production of ignorin’ these guys while he finished off another drink. He stares straight ahead and says in a real cold voice, "What?"

"Well?" Mr. FBI asks, "Have you heard anything?"

Shaun pretends to study his glass for a minute and says, "I have heard many things Alex. Is there something particular you want to know?"

I thought for a minute this Alex was gonna punch him, but the woman stepped between ‘em. "Shaun," she says "If you know anything. . . .

Then he spins around to face them and he is pissed. I could see his whole body shakin’ like he was fightin’ to keep control. I wasn’t the only one either, behind me I heard people start bakin’ away from the bar. He’s so mad, his mouth doesn’t move when he starts talkin’.

"Oh, now you worry about her. If you were so concerned, you never would have played this thing out. I don’t see why you all are so worried, I’m the one with the most to lose in this mess."

I was watchin’ his face, so it’s possible I didn’t see him shove the glass down the bar toward me, ‘cause there it was. I did what I get paid to do and filled it up then slid it back down the bar toward him. Went right to him, he didn’t even look, just opened his hand and caught it. It was sweet.

He takes another drink and keeps givin’ them hell. "I’m the one she trusted the most, the one she’ll never talk to again, the one who will pay the highest price if something goes wrong with your little game. Me. So stash your concern and leave me the hell alone." Then he turns back around to the bar and stares morosely at his hand. Something Shaun said has the Fed. lookin’ worried and he stops the woman from sayin’ anything else. Then they go stand by the door and start whisperen’.

The old guy’s still standin’ there, but it takes Shaun a minute to notice. He’s got almost a whole bottle of Scotch in him, it’s a damn miracle he could stay on his stool. He sighs this real heavy sigh with his whole body. He just sat there lookin’ like he’d lost his best friend, I felt sorry for the guy.

He looks up at the ceiling and says, "What now, Aniston?"

The old man waits till Shaun looks at him and says, "That was completely unnecessary. We care about her too. For God’s sakes man, Rebekah sired her."

Shaun slams his fist down on the bar, startlin’ everybody that was left in the place, "And we all see how motherly Rebekah’s part in all this is." I tell ya’, the sarcasm made me wince.

Well, I guess from the looks they exchanged with each other, that Rebekah was the woman by the door. I’m as confused as you are, damnit, I don’t know what "sired" means. I thought I did.

Then he stares at this big sapphire ring he’s wearing and says, " It’s not the same, and you know it. You’re not in love with her. Your life hasn’t been the hell mine has lately. The past five months have been a lie that has almost eaten me alive. You can’t begin to understand what it’s been like for me. Aniston, if she doesn’t forgive me, I don’t know what I’ll do." He just sat there like all the fight had gone out of him. It really was kinda sad.

The old man stood there for a minute, then he puts his hand on this poor guy’s shoulder and says, "I can’t help you with that, Shaun. That’s something you and Alexandra have to work out." He pats him on the back and goes to stand by the door with the rest of his little group.

I edge over to Shaun and hear him muttering, "You can’t help me with this, but by God, you were more than willing to get me into it. Bastards." I put the bottle in front of him and left him alone.

So you finally caught that? I don’t know what she’s "Prince" of exactly, but she’s his girlfriend and he’s done somethin’ that’s gonna really tick her off. I half expected to find him in the alley when I left.

After awhile, people started talkin’ again and every once in a while, someone would go talk to the three by the door. They didn’t try to talk to him again, just stood there and watched him try to drink himself into a stupor.

Right before I got off, another guy comes in, nods to the three by the door, comes over and sits by our drunken friend. Without lookin’ up, Shaun says, "I told you to leave me the hell alone."

This new guy looks around the room like he’s casin’ the joint, and says "If it were left up to me, Mage, I would like nothing better. You’re damn depressing lately. But I thought you might like to know that Alexandra’s outside."

I thought he was gonna fall off his seat. He just stared at this guy, stunned. "Is she mad?" The guy doesn’t answer, so he kinda whispers, "Hawke?"

Would you stop with the questions already? Maybe he’s a magician. Look it up.

Before this Hawke character can say anything, the locked front door bangs open and in walks this incredible woman. The crowd started yellin’ when the door slammed against the wall, and then people noticed her and this hush fell over the room. I tell ya’ the air was thick with emotions. Fear, reverence, awe. I felt ‘em, too. She was definitely Italian. Dark complexion, black hair and the most incredible ice blue eyes. Legs up to here. God, she was beautiful. I just stood there with my mouth hanging open’. She looks around till she sees Shaun. For just a second, I see pain in those eyes, then her face tightens up, ya know, like when you’re really mad and grit your teeth to keep from screaming.

Shaun just cringed back against the bar and when she started walkin’ toward him, he went white. What’s his name, Hawke, got up in a hurry and went over to the other three. I was standin’ behind this poor guy, which was a good thing cause when he stood up to face her, I had to reach out and catch him when his knees went out on him. He puts one hand on the bar to steady himself, but it didn’t help him when she reached out a stroked his cheek. Thought he was gonna pass out.

Then she leans in closer to him and says "I’ve been talking to Tyler." She had a voice like velvet and I would’ve sold my soul at that moment to hear her say my name. Right then, I knew this was Alexandra and understood why he was so depressed just thinkin’ he might lose her.

Shaun just looks at her and says, "Tyler?" It sounded like he was struggling to find the breath he needed to talk. She reached behind him, picked up the empty scotch bottle and held it up to the light.

"You remember Tyler, my love. You know, the Prince." Shaun just hung his head. Then she looked at me and asked, "Did he drink all of this?"

So I tell her yeah, but it’s on the house. He looked like he needed it. She raises an eyebrow at me, looks down at his head and starts running her fingers through his hair. He just sits there, like he’s afraid to move or resigned to his fate. Then she closes her eyes like she’s tryin’ to think, the door flies open again and her chauffer walks in.

"Pay the man." She tells him and smiles at me. My knees almost went out, had to hold on to the bar just to stay on my feet. "Pay him well for having to deal with Shaun tonight." She sets the bottle back down, tilts his face up and tells me thanks and she hopes he wasn’t a bother. Then she nods to the group at the door and Hawke and Alex come to escort him out. He looks at her on his way out, but she ignores him. Thought for a second he was gonna cry, but he pulls away from the other two and walks stiffly out the door. Then I think she’s gonna cry, but the old guy comes up to talk to her and she gets frosty with him instead. I was a little worried ‘bout our friend, so I wait till they’re through talkin’ and I catch her at the door. She’s a tall woman, looked me right in the eye. That was unnervin’, almost forgot how to talk. But she smiled again and asked if there was anything else she could do for me. I had to fight back the obvious ones and I ask her if Shaun’s gonna be all right, cause he was really feelin’ bad about what had happened and I, personally, thought he deserved another chance. I mean, he seemed like the decent sort and all he had talked about was what a dumbshit he had been.

She looked kinda sad again and said she’d be sure and keep it mind but that he had violated her trust. I was startin’ to explain how it wasn’t his fault and all, ya’ know, that stuff he said, when she reached up and put one long, perfect finger against my mouth and I forgot the English language. Then she leaned real close and I forgot how to breath, forgot everything but those eyes and that throaty voice.

"I love that man more than my very existence. Remember that. But it will be hard to forgive him this because my trust is not easily won and once lost, is never regained. But, I will let him explain his reasons to me before I decide whether or not he has lost it. He has been known to make bad choices in the past. But I see that your concern goes deeper than that, doesn’t it?"

I managed to nod and she whispers to me, "I swear to you, on everything holy to me, that I will not harm a hair on his head. Nor will I allow anyone else to. I will die before I allow him be harmed. Everyone who knows me knows what will happen to them if they lay a finger on him. Do you feel better now?"

I just nodded again and watched her get into a limo and drive off. I musta stood there for 10 minutes, just starin’ in the direction the car went. Then I finally remembered where I was and shut the door so I could check the lock. Worked just fine. I don’t know how it kept blowin’ open. The place was nearly empty. That’s when I decided to come over here. Longest damn walk I ever took.

Why? Because on the way here I realized I’d seen her somewhere before. Alexandra.

The Field Museum. The Raven catered a party there last year. They were announcing her promotion to head of the Egyptology Department. Pretty big deal. All the big guns were there. Ya’ had to have seen it, it was in all the local papers. She’d been in the papers a lot before and after that. Then, all of a sudden, nothing. Thought she had moved or somethin’. She looks different now.

I don’t know, younger maybe.

No way, I’ve seen plastic surgery and this wasn’t it. She was pretty hot then, didn’t look like an archeologist’s supposed to look. But now, she’s almost magically beautiful. Supernatural maybe. Yeah, that’s it supernatural.