by Pepperlandgirl
The long night stretched ahead of us as I cuddled close to Jake. I contently drifted between the land of awake and the land of dreams, playfully dancing on the narrow border. Outside a cricket could be heard, a gentle wind rustled the leaves, and, in the distance, thunder. It would not be a summer’s night in Utah without a thunderstorm.
Our bed faced a very large picture window and afforded a beautiful view of Bear Lake. In the distance I could see lightning flash, and small yellow fires dotted the beach. Sounds of drunken laughter drifted through our open window. The sweet smells of late night barbecues, the approaching storm, and the surrounding forest floated into our room.
I loved our little cabin, even though it was incredibly small. I had decorated our room tastefully with a large brass bed and two antique bed tables, with matching dresser and vanity. The small kitchen, living room, and bathroom contained a hodgepodge of miscellaneous junk, but our bedroom was decorated perfectly. I took great pride in the room, and on peaceful summer nights like that there was no place I’d rather be.
“Nothing like a summer’s night,” Jake commented.
“Mmm hmm,” I agreed, then yawned. I stretched, feeling like a cat. Jake’s warm hand caressed my arm and I felt like purring.
“What are you thinking about?” He inquired.
“Purring,” I sleepily replied.
I felt a soft chuckle vibrating through his body, and that made me smile. I always smile when he laughs; it makes me feel warm. Even after ten years together, numerous fights, and a near divorce. I never could get used to his love and the way he makes me feel. After a whole childhood of emotional abuse from my immature mother, and being completely ignored by my father, I craved complete acceptance, and unconditional love. I suppose because of this I was intensely jealous of anything that could come between the two of us.
Jake continued to caress my arm and he moved to my shoulder and neck. Where he touched me I tingled, and my insides seemed to warm up. “Don’t laugh at me,” I playfully protested.
“I’m not laughing at you. I just think you’re cute,” he explained as his fingers roamed on my neck and throat.
“It’s because I am.”
“And so modest,” he chuckled again.
“What are you thinking about?” I inquired.
“You, summertime, stars, lemonade,” he responded.
“Sounds crowded up there,” I commented.
“I know. I’m giving myself a headache.”
I chuckled myself, “I tried to warn you against that.”
“I know, and I never listen.”
“Let’s go to sleep, I’m tired,” I yawned.
“Me too...wait, did you hear that?”
I could feel his body tense up as he strained to listen. I too held my breath. “It must have been noth...wait. There it was again.”
A rumble that could have been thunder, but wasn’t, approached our gravel driveway. It sounded like a car, and seemed incredibly loud in the still night.
“Sounds like a car,” I whispered.
Jake groaned, “Who comes up here at 12:30?”
I didn’t know. We made the decision to spend the 4th of July weekend at our isolated cabin on the far side of Bear Lake. Nobody ever went there except us. Not even our parents knew exactly where we took our extended weekends. Our privacy and time alone was very important to us, and we didn’t like distractions.
“Who knows we’re here?” I asked.
“Nobody that I know of. Did you tell anybody?”
“No, of course not. Maybe it’s just somebody who’s lost, or maybe drunk,” I suggested.
“Well no matter who or what it is, I’m gonna go find out.”
“Oh, Jake no,” I protested. “It could be somebody dangerous.”
“What do you want me to do? Lay in here and wait?”
“I’m coming too.”
“Ok, just cover yourself. Nobody else needs to see how stunning you are,” he said as he crawled out of bed. I threw a pillow at his head, and he laughingly chucked it back my direction.
I threw on a robe and we hurried to the front door. We stood there together, waiting for a knock or the sound of a car turning around. Instead we heard the distant rumble of thunder that echoed off of the lake. As soon as the last echoes faded out, a strong knock reverberated through the door. We looked at each other, and I almost felt giddy. I always laughed when something frightened me.
It seemed almost cliche that we opened the door at the same time a bolt of lightning hit the Earth, illuminating the forest and the person standing on the front stoop. A tall, lithe figure with the face of an angel, and the haughtiness of a queen could clearly be seen for bare seconds, but it was long enough for me to know who darkened my doorstep.
“Keri?” I asked in disbelief and shock.
“Yes dear, it’s me,” Keri replied.
I felt the beginnings of a headache pulse in my temples. That fact the woman even inhabited the same state as myself was almost too much to handle. And the prospect of spending time with her caused me physical pain.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded. I tried to turn on the front porch light, but the bulb had burned out the night before. Lightning moved closer and I could see a smirk on her face.
“Oh, that’s my dear Tori. Never minces words,” Keri greeted dryly, with a throaty chuckle.
“Well?”
“Oh you know. I thought I’d stop by to visit my two favorite people.”
Through the exchange Jake was silent beside me, not even moving. I could not see his eyes, but I had a feeling they were on our unwelcome guest. Probably stunned by her beauty, I thought bitterly. He had been stunned by her before. Stunned long enough to carry on an affair behind my back. Fresh pain lanced my soul. But as much as I didn’t want to admit it, her beauty could not be ignored. Large dark eyes, long ebony hair, high cheekbones, and a pale perfect complexion. Her long legs stretched forever, and her high breasts captured the attention of every male she ever met. I felt jealousy pierce my heart and turn my eyes a deep emerald green. A hate I had almost forgotten returned with such a force, I felt like I needed to sit down.
“How are you?” Keri asked Jake, to get his attention.
That snapped Jake out of his silence, and he quickly asked her to come in. I didn’t want her to enter my house, and I did not want to know how she knew where to find us. I watched her enter and stood undecided. Good manners dictated I offer hospitality, but the rest of me wanted to offer her to the gods controlling the thunder and lightning. In the end Jake decided for me by offering her a seat and something to drink. I took her coat from her and felt warm suede.
She gracefully sat down on a plush leather chair. It seemed out of place in our small living room; the couch beside it was old and second hand. But I saw the expensive chair, and had to have it. The chair stood by the window, and to the right of it was a desk with a state of the art computer. We didn’t have a TV, but we didn’t need one with our computer.
“Water would be fine, thank you.”
“Great,” I said with forced pleasantness. “Jake, come with me and get it.” I motioned for him to follow me with a jerk of my head.
“Oh, um, sure.”
I stomped off to the kitchen. The kitchen took up a small amount of space, with a double burner stove, a tiny fridge, and a small round table. I reached to one of only three cupboards and grabbed a glass, then shoved it under the water tap. In a very controlled voice I simply said, “Why is she here?”
“Tori, honey, I don’t know.”
“Ok, better question. How does she know where the cabin is? I said slowly, to keep my voice from shaking with rage. I knew the answer, but part of me hoped that I was wrong. Part of hoped there was a perfectly innocent reason.
“Honey…”
“How does she know, Jakob?” My voice grew louder.
“I brought her here once,” he quietly responded.
My hand itched to hit something, my arm ached to throw something in rage. I compromised by slamming the glass down hard enough to shatter.
“Last year?”
“Last year,” he confirmed.
“Damn you, Jake!” I said angrily.
“Honey, please,” he begged.
“Please what? Forgive you for having sex in my bed?” I shouted. I could see the pain, sorrow, and confusion on his face as the lightning roamed ever closer to our cabin. He reached out to turn on the light, but the switch did nothing.
“The power is out,” he stated.
I stalked past him with the glass of water in my hand into the living room. Keri was sitting calmly, long and slink like some exotic cat. In the dark room she looked like one.
“Thank you, Dear.”
“What do you want?” I demanded.
“To talk and catch up on old times.” That throaty chuckle again.
“Look, I can have you arrested for trespassing,” I informed her.
Now she didn’t just chuckle, she laughed. “No you can’t, Dear. The power and the phones are out due to the storm,” she pointed out. As if to punctuate her point, a crash of thunder boomed, echoing in my head.
“How do you know?” I asked tightly.
“Why don’t you find out yourself?” She suggested.
I picked up the cordless phone on the table near the couch, and complete silence met me. I sat down on my plush, threadbare couch. Normally the soft cushions forced me to relax, but that night they had little effect on my taunt muscles and stressed nerves.
“Fine,” I said wearily. I was sleepy before, and now my eyes felt gritty and my head ached. “Fine. Sit there and play your games. Be vague and unresponsive. Waste everybody’s night, ruin everybody’s holiday. Do whatever you want, you know you will anyway.”
“Now, Tori dear, don’t be such a goose,” Keri exclaimed.
Waves of hate washed over me as I stared at the only woman I would ever consider an enemy. In the years I had known her she had went from being my best friend and confidante to sabotaging my job, sleeping with my husband, and lying to my family about me. Nobody could accuse her of not being a vengeful bitch.
“Ok,” I started, “I won’t be a goose Keri. What would you want me to be?”
“Patience, Dear, patience. Good things come to those who wait,” Keri advised.
“Thanks.” I looked up and watched Jake enter the room from the kitchen, his footsteps echoing off the hard floor. His shoulders were slumped slightly, and he came to sit on the couch. His leg and shoulder touching mine. I moved away from him.
“Jake, darling, how are you?” Keri questioned exuberantly, she smiled, leaned forward, and opened her arms for an embrace. He ignored the invitation for a hug, and stayed on the couch.
Why must she always act as if the world was a cocktail party? I wondered.
“Fine, Keri. You?” He answered politely.
“Oh, you know. Living life.” She laughed. It sounded false to me.
An answer that doesn’t say anything.
“Keri, I’ll level with you. It’s late, neither of us wants you here. So let’s discuss what we have to discuss, or what you want to discuss. And then we’ll call it a night, Ok?” Jake suggested.
“Oh Jake, if only it was that easy. I have so much to say to you.”
“And this couldn’t have waited till, oh I don’t know, next week?” I asked sarcastically.
Keri narrowed her eyes at me briefly. “No,” she said coolly, “it couldn’t.”
“Well, then. Start talking.” But the thunder drowned out my irritation.
I folded my arms and stared at Keri. When I saw her flashing eyes, so dark, or her milky complexion, a strong hand forced me into a time warp. Of course I’d prefer to remember only her hand in the whole mess, but sometimes I was forced to remember my own part. Something I did not feel like doing. Something I detested doing.
I was 19 when I met Keri. I was naive, idealistic, and headstrong. Keri knew how to manipulate to get what she wanted, and she knew how to flatter to get where she wanted to be. I was awed by the aura of sensuality and power that followed her wherever she went. A year after our friendship began I met Jake and Gavin through her. Jake and Gavin were best friends, and I felt a natural attraction to Jake. Keri and Gavin paired off by default. We were all friends in the beginning, and stayed that way. But people had a way of hurting each other, and we hurt each other every chance we got after a few years of camaraderie. Subtly of course. Things came to a head, however, after I had a one-night stand with Gavin.
I regretted it, mainly because it hurt and confused Jake so much. Keri sensed this, and moved into take revenge by destroying our relationship. I never once doubted that Keri started the affair to hurt me, not because she had any strong feelings towards Jake. And after the initial pain I was able to forgive Jake, because I knew the almost hypnotic effect she had on men. She was like a lethal cobra, making a slow beautiful dance to capture her prey.
“Is there anywhere I can freshen up?” Keri requested.
“Down the hall, to the right,” Jake directed.
She left the room, as graceful as a panther gliding through trees. We sat, as still as statues, on the same couch, but not touching. The faded blue and white design acting as a gulf the size of Flaming Gorge.
I had nothing to say to my husband, at least nothing I could say in a civilized manner. I tugged gently on my long blonde hair, a nervous habit I have had since childhood. I had always kept it long. I suppose it acted like a barrier between me and the cruel world.
“You might not believe me, but I don’t want her here. I don’t want her at all,” he said quietly.
“Probably because you already had her.” But no acid dripped from my tone, only a weariness born of a too many years involving Keri and too much discord.
“Tori, please. It was a mistake, I didn’t...I don’t like what I’ve done, I regret it every waking moment,” he protested.
I took his hand lightly, and it felt abnormally hot. It was probably just because mine felt like ice cubes. “I know, Love. But you have to realize I’m not going to be a very gracious person right now.”
“I understand, Tori. I’ll be patient with you, and you be patient with me.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek, then whispered in my ear, “Be strong.”
I leaned against him, “I’ll try, Love.”
For just a second I felt OK. I always felt OK around Jake. His presence acted like a drug for me, and sometimes he harmed me more then anything. But the highs I got from him made me forget the lows, like every other drug.
My brief feeling of peace died quickly as Keri entered the room elegantly. Her hips were swinging slightly, her hand smoothing down her raven dark hair.
“I don’t think that it’s fair you blame me for everything that happened,” Keri started, “I had my part of course, but so did you. And you,” she pointed at Jake.
“We know this. I sure hope that’s not that’s not why you drove clear up here at midnight,” I said.
“No, Tori, I didn’t just drive here to tell you that.” She sounded tired too.
“I’m going to get some candles,” Jake stated, a little too loudly.
“They’re in the drawers by our bed,” I told him as he crept out of the room.
“It’s about Gavin,” Keri said as soon as Jake left.
I shut my eyes, deciding never to open them again. It would be easier to just sleep, to let my dreams wash this nightmare away. Gavin was the fourth and final piece to this little puzzle.
“I thought he left.”
“He’ll never be gone. Not even when he dies.”
She was right about that. Gavin was the most charismatic person I had ever met. He controls us all, even Keri, like puppets. And for some reason, we always let him without protest. He was like Arnie in The Chocolate War.
“I’ve already heard enough. Nothing he or you do concerns me any more.”
Jake returned with the candles and lit them. He lit a dozen in all, and the light seemed surreal. Unreal shadows bounced off corners and walls. Keri looked eerie, as if she returned from the grave. For a brief second I felt like I was an extra in a Poe short story, with Keri as one of the beautiful, but dead heroines; Lady Mandeline, Lenore, or Ligea.
Jake’s eyes did not leave me, and I didn’t know why he stared at me so hard. My full long hair glowed like blonde fire, my green eyes reflected flames like a dragon, my sun kissed skin cast off an aura of health. Keri looked like the dead Ligea, I looked like life itself. Of course, all I could see at the time was her unearthly beauty.
Keri took a small sip of water then began.
“I didn’t come here to cause you pain. Believe it or not Tori, I am not a fiend of a monster. I came here because of Gavin, he’s…he’s not well,” she explained.
“What does he have, and why does it matter to us?” Jake demanded, an edge in his voice for the first time that night. However much I hated Keri, he despised Gavin that much more.
“He’s HIV positive and he doesn’t know how long he’s had it. We’ve all been...we’ve all been exposed,” she whispered tightly.
We sat in stunned silence, thunder bouncing in the woods, against the house, pounding in our heads.
“That can’t be the only reason you drove clear out here in the middle of the night,” I stated coolly, “Especially when a simple phone call would suffice.”
“Isn’t her news enough?” Jake demanded.
“No,” I said calmly, “I’ve been tested negative every six months for the past two years.”
“Well, Tori’s right. That’s not all,” Keri confirmed.
“What else?” More then a hint of irritation filled Jake’s voice. Jake, who lived his life in such a mild manner. Jake, who never gets angry and rarely gets annoyed, now struggled to keep his voice calm. I understood how he felt.
“Tori, remember when you and Gavin...”
“Made our mistake?” I prompted.
“Yes, made your mistake, had your fling. However you choose to refer to it.” I glared at her. “Well you know that night I returned home from a business trip in California. Before that everything between Gavin and myself had been good. We even talked about getting married. After that night everything changed. At first I blamed it on you Tori, but it wasn’t you. Do you know what happened that night before and after his time with you?” Keri asked.
They both fixed their glowing eyes on me, waiting for an answer. I tugged at my hair and glanced nervously around the dark room. A primitive beat surrounded us as the rain began. The rain was nice, I wanted to lose myself in the rain, like I had done once as a little girl. I had to run out in a drenching downpour to get away from a fight between my older brother and my father that had escalated to violence. I hid in the torrents, Mother Earth’s tears mingling with my own.
I remembered the night Keri referred to well. I had walked in on Gavin, while looking for Keri. I found him in his small bedroom, a single light casting a weak glow on the one hundred-dollar bills spread across the bed. He had looked up startled, the he had smiled at me.
“No,” I lied, hoping my voice sounded even, hoping they couldn’t see the blush crawl up my face in the dim light.
“Oh come on Tori. Gavin is dying. He’s told me everything. Why don’t you come clean with Jake,” she prompted, “I’m sure you would rather tell him yourself.”
“Gavin had some money,” I stated slowly, “That’s all I know.”
I could see Keri roll her obsidian eyes. “And not once did the source of the money come up in your, uh, conversation?”
“Even if I knew, what would be the point? How does all this apply to us?” I asked.
“There’s a federal investigation,” she informed me.
I felt glad to be sitting, because had I not been, I would have collapsed. My mind raced. That night he had exactly $750,500. He gave me $100,000 and told me to have fun. Which I stupidly did, and anybody who bothered looking, or knew to look, would see that.
“And you came by to warn us out of the goodness of your heart?” I icily asked.
Keri laughed a very unpleasant laugh. “No, no. I didn’t come to warn you that the feds are on to you. I came to tell you that you are the only one who knows anything. And that’s the way it’s going to stay,” she explained.
“Is that a threat?” Jake asked quietly.
“No, it’s a promise,” Keri said as she extracted a gun from her purse.
“Keri, what do you plan on doing with that?”
“What do you think? It’s the perfect crime. I shoot you, light the place on fire and go home. The whole time, as far as the world is concerned, I was nursing my poor, dear, sick Gavin.” Keri’s face twisted into a hideous impersonation of a smile.
Fear came awake in my belly, hot and moving, climbing up my throat and making it tighten. And my mouth dried up. My fingernails pierced my clenched hands, and tears stung my eyes. I didn’t, couldn’t, turn to look at Jake. My brain became a blur. Time seemed to stand still, and I lost awareness of my surroundings. Instead all I knew was the sweet minutes, hours, I had spent in Jake’s arms. My mouth no longer tasted coppery with fear, instead bittersweet lemonade drenched my tongue. My eyes didn’t see the gun that Keri leveled in my direction. They saw a beautiful sunset over the lake. My ears didn’t hear the report of the gun, they heard the soft song of morning birds. And my senses didn’t realize what had happened, until Jake grabbed my arm. I turned towards him slowly, and saw a smoking revolver in his hands.
My face must have expressed my confusion, because he explained that he figured Keri had something up her sleeve and he grabbed our gun, the gun I told him not to buy, just to be on the safe side.
He pulled me against him, and I looked at the crumbled heap that only seconds ago had been the living, breathing woman I knew as a best friend, and my greatest nemesis. Her ebony hair didn’t seem so beautiful, her legs didn’t seem so long. A flower of red bloomed across her chest, the center right in between her breasts. I began to cry.
I shut my eyes tight and could clearly hear the pounding, drumming, drenching rain pour down from above. I shut my eyes against the death in from of me, and the cold blue outside. I shut my eyes against an uncertain future and a past I couldn’t avoid.
“I love you,” Jake whispered.