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[Scene opens with Larry and Bob on the table next to
the computer.]
Bob: Amy Linser, from Omaha Nebraska, asks us, “Dear
Bob and Larry: My Mom told me that we should always
stand for good and fight against evil. Why is that?”
Larry: Well, Amy, that’s a very good question.
Bob: Yes it is. I think that the best way to answer
it would be to tell her the story about Frodo Baggins
and the One Ring of Power.
Larry: And Sam.
Bob: What?
Larry: Samwise Gangee was also part of the story. Shouldn’t
it be the story of Frodo, Sam, and the One Ring of Power.
Bob: Ok, fine. We’ll call it the story of Frodo, Sam,
and the One Ring of Power.
Larry: And Legolas.
Bob: What?
Larry: Legolas was part of the story too. Shouldn’t
it be the story of Frodo, Sam, Legolas, and the One
Ring of Power?
Bob: Ok, ok, why don’t we just call it the story of
the Fellowship of the Ring.
[Scene fades to back. Next scene shows Frodo, played
by Larry, and Sam, played by Bob, outside a hobbit hole.]
Narrator: Once there was a young hobbit named Frodo,
who had just gotten a ring from his uncle.
Larry: I have this ring that I got from my uncle, and
I don’t know what to do with it.
[Music starts.]
Should I put it down on the table
Next to the pot of liver?
Should I take it down to Rivendell
And drop it in the river?
Should I bring it to a tall tower
And put it on the Spire,
Or carry it to old Mount Doom
And throw it in the fire?
[Music ends.]
Bob: Gee, I don’t know. Maybe we should find Gandalf
and ask him.
[Scene fades]
Narrator: The Dark Lord Sauron wanted to get his ring
back, so he sent out some black riders known as the
Nazgul.
[Scene shows the Nazgul, played by the three villainous
celery stalks, riding through a forest. Music starts.]
Nazgul: We ar the Nazgul,
That is our name,
And what we are doing
Is surely not a game.
To get the ring
We must ride faster
And once we have it
We will give it to our master.
[Musics stops]
… several hundred musical numbers later:
Bob: Now let’s have another look at what we learned
today. Frodo and Sam learned that as long as you stick
to good and avoid evil, you can accomplish anything.
Merry and Pippin found out that those who resist evil
will always get help when they need it. Now let’s see
if Qwerty has a verse for us. [Reading from the computer
screen.] Isaiah 1:16 says, “Cease to do evil.” Well,
that’s it for today. And remember, evil is bad.
Larry: Also, remember that if you ever meet a Balrog,
run away.