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(Several lifers, a clique the guards have taken to calling "The Fellowship,"
sit on a long bench in the weight room.)
Legolas (sitting down and putting his arm around Aragorn): You got the ring?
Aragorn: No, I don't have the [censored] ring.
Gimli: I hear this midget's got it.
Boromir: [censored] midgets. Struttin' around like they [censored] own the place...
someone oughtta do something.
Legolas: You do that, Warden Saruman will make you wish you'd never been born.
Boromir: Yeah? Personally, I think the warden has a thing for the little [censored].
(Frodo walks up, and climbs deftly up onto the bench next to them.)
Gimli: Someone invite you, new boy?
Frodo: What's it to ya? Like what ya see here?
Legolas: Oh, tough guy. Say, we hear one of your kind has the ring. What do
ya say?
Frodo: My kind? What is that, a racial slur? Hey, we're all the same here.
Boromir: [censored]. Say that again after lights out, sweet cheeks.
(Samwise ambles over.)
Samwise: Frodo... did you... ah... take care of the... uh... problem?
Frodo (looking perplexed) Problem?
Samwise: You know... the, err, situation?
Frodo (unsure): I don't know... Oh, you mean... OH! No, I, uh...
Boromir (grabbing Frodo by the collar): You do have it, you sawed-off [censored]!
You have the ring!
(A guard immediately starts moving toward them, and another...)
Aragorn: Aw, [censored], man! The [censored] guards must be Nazgul! The warden
lied to us!