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Outside the gates of Mordor....
Gollum: Master, I havesss an idea...
(cut to view of soldiers outside the Black Gate, looking
bored)
(cut to view of pastoral scene of trees... sounds of
hammering, axes, and finally a chainsaw)
(cut to view of large wooden rabbit..er, coney...being
wheeled up to the Black Gate and being taken inside)
(cut to view of Gollum, Frodo and Sam looking down at
the Black Gate from the nearby hillside)
Frodo: and now what happens, Smeagol?
Smeagol: Now, you, Ssssam, and I, we waits until dark...then
we hopsss out of the rabbit, catching Ssssauron's armies
in their sleep! Not only in their sleep, but totally
by surprise!
Sam: WHO leaps out?
(Frodo smacks his head)
Gollum: Perhaps if we built a large wooden Nazgul....
(scene fades)