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At the Prancing Pony Inn:
Pippin (Eric Idle): Evening.
Butterbur (Terry Jones): Evening.
Pippin: Well, what you got?
Butterbur: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam, tomato and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; (Big Folk start singing in background) spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.
Big Folk: Spam, spam, spam, spam, lovely spam, lovely spam.
Butterbur: (cont) ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay
sauce served in a Southfarthing manner with shallots and aubergines
garnished with mushroom pate, brandy [ed.-probably an Old Winyards brandy] and
with a fried egg on top and spam.
Merry: Have you got anything without spam?
Butterbur: Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got much spam in it.
Merry: I don't want any spam!
Pippin: Why can't he have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?
Merry: That's got spam in it.
Pippin: It hasn't got as much spam in it as spam, egg, sausage and spam has it?
Merry: (over Big Folk starting again) Could you do me egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam then?
Butterbur: Ech!
Merry: What do you mean ech! I don't like spam!
Big Folk: Lovely spam, wonderful spam....etc
Butterbur: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Bloody Big Folk. You can't have egg, bacon, spam and sausage without the spam.
Merry: I don't like spam!
Pippin: Shh, Merry, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam. (starts Big Folk off again)
Big Folk: Lovely spam, wonderful spam...etc
Butterbur: Shut up! Baked beans are off.
Pippin: Well, can I have his spam instead of the baked beans?
Butterbur: You mean spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, and spam?
Big Folk: Lovely spam, wonderful spam...etc...spam, spam, spam! (in harmony)