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Monty Python

by Kilt-wearin' man

Balrog"Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Khazad-dum must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see!"

Aragorn"Ask me the questions, Balrog, I'm not afraid!"

Balrog"What...is your NAME?"

Aragorn"Aragorn, Heir of Gondor."

Balrog"What...is your QUEST?"

Aragorn"To cast the One Ring into the fires of Mount Doom!"

Balrog"What...is your favorite color?"

Aragorn"Green."

Balrog"Right, then. Off with you..."

Aragorn"...oh, thank you...thank you very much...[/i]

Gandalf"That's EASY!" Rushes forward to the Balrog

Balrog"Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Khazad-dum must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see!"

Gandalf"Ask me the questions, Balrog, I'm not afraid!"

Balrog"What...is your NAME?"

Gandalf"Gandalf the Grey."

Balrog"What...is your QUEST?"

Gandalf"To cast the One Ring into the fires of Mount Doom!"

Balrog"What...is in my POCKET?"

Gandalf"I don't know THAT! AAAUUUUUUUUGHHHHHH!!!!!!" Gandalf is cast into the chasm

Frodo and Sam approach the Bridge

Balrog"Stop! What...is your name?"

Frodo"Frodo Baggins, Hobbit of the Shire!"

Balrog"What...is your QUEST?"

Frodo"To cast the One Ring into the fires of Mount Doom!"

Balrog"What...is the land-speed velocity of an unladen ork?"

Frodo"What do you mean? Goblin or Uruk-Hai?"

Balrog"What? I don't know...AAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHH!" The Balrog is cast into the chasm...

Sam"How do you know so much about orks?"

Frodo"Well, you have to know these things when you're a Ring-Bearer, you know..."