Home | Literature Index | Movies & Broadway Index | Television Index | Music Index | Miscellaneous Index | Submit Your Own
Ext. Barrow Downs.
Frodobby: Hankgulf! (sticks RING up nose) Nook ag dis!
Hankgulf: (shakes head) Gawd! Not even second breakfast,
and already the Ringbearer ain't right.
Boomwiser: Y'allutoutthatdangol'screwin'around. Gottogettodangol'Rivendellan'seeElrondandallthoseelves,
man.
Daleagorn: No! It's a trap. I'm telling you, Sauron,
in league with a sinister federal agency, which consists
of 3 elves, some dwarves, and 9 men, has conspired to
enslave all of Middle Texas! Says so in this month's
"Orc of Fortune!"
Hankgulf: Daleagorn, don't be ridiculous. I didn't get
to be a Keeper of the Sacred Blue Flame of Valor by
listening to crazy theories like that.
Boomwise: Yeahmanthatisjustdangol'crazytalk;ain'tnodangol'RingofPower.
Daleagorn: Yeah, it's crazy, crazy like a weasel! Weasels
are smarter than foxes, before you say anything. Say,
anyone see my wife, Arwancy is going to get back with
the mead. She and Redcornolas went up to the Randy Pony
Inn hours ago.
*uncomfortable silence*
Hankgulf: Uh, Daleagorn, haven't you ever noticed....
Eoluann: Unca Hankgulf! Unca Hankgulf! What's that?
Hankgulf: AAAH! Nazgul! Charcoal purveyors from the
depths of Oklahomador.
Dauteriveli: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'll get
'em. (Shoots) Oh, I missed. Sorry, Boomwise.
Boomwise (looking at arrow in chest): Manyougottowatchitwiththat
dangol'friendlyfireman.
Enter Redcornolas
Redcornolas (hurriedly adjusting his mail): What is
happening here? I have been off helping Arwancy . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . with her headaches.
*uncomforable silence*
Frodobby, Boomwise, Hankgulf, Dauteriveli, and Eoluann
all look up at the sky. The charging Nazgul rein in
their mounts, which paw the ground nervously. The Nazgul
rummage through their saddlebags absently.
Daleagorn: What?? Why does everyone always do that?
All: NO REASON!!!