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I Dream of Legolas

by jeanster

Time and Place: 1960’s. Office of U.S. Astronaut Captain Aragorn Nelson.

GENERAL ELROND
Captain Nelson, I’ll be honest with you. I was very reluctant to allow my daughter to date an astronaut. But Arwen is a grown woman. So I won’t stand in the way of you two going out to dinner tonight.

CAPTAIN ARAGORN NELSON
Thank you, General. I’ll treat Arwen with the utmost respect and courtesy.

GENERAL ELROND
Darn right you will. Speaking of Arwen, here she comes. Hello, my dear.

ARWEN
Hello, Daddy. I stopped by your office and your secretary told me you were here. Hello, Aragorn. I’m looking forward to our dinner date tonight.

ARAGORN
So am I. I’ll pick you up at seven-thirty.

GENERAL ELROND
You two kids have fun. But not too much fun, if you know what I mean.

ARWEN (smiles)
Oh, Daddy!

Scene: Later that evening at the home of Captain Aragorn Nelson. All the exit doors and windows are barricaded from the inside.

ARAGORN
Legolas! This isn’t funny! You can’t keep me prisoner here in my own house! Arwen is waiting for me! You’re going to make me late!

LEGOLAS THE BEAUTIFUL BLOND GENIE
That’s the idea. Oh, Master! Why do you need to go out with that woman when you have me right here? I can grant your every wish and plase you in so many ways!

ARAGORN
Legolas, don’t make me regret having freed you from your bottle back on that island! Now I’m ordering you to remove the barricades from this house!

LEGOLAS (pouting)
Very well, Master.

Legolas crosses his arms and blinks. The house returns to normal.

ARAGORN
Thank you. Now you behave yourself while I’m away.

LEGOLAS (anxious)
What time will you return?

ARAGORN
That all depends on how well this date goes. Be good.

Aragorn leaves. Legolas stares at the door.

Legolas cannot stand the idea of his beloved Master njoying a cozy intimate dinner date with General Elrond’s beautiful daughter Arwen. He is torn between obeying his Master and doing something to ruin the dinner date.