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LEGSY THE ORC SLAYER (Part 4)

by jeanster

Scene: The basement of the Bronze. Legsy has just finished freeing Aragorn and they are running up the stairs.

LEGSY: So where is Saruman?

ARAGORN: He and the Orcs are on the other side of town in a warehouse that they've turned into a factory. I heard them talking about it. Legsy, Saruman has big plans for this factory.

LEGSY: What kind of plans?

ARAGORN: The kind that will make your blood run cold just thinking about it. The people living here in town are doomed unless we stop him!

LEGSY: Details, man. Give me details.

ARAGORN: It'll be easier if I just show you. Let's go.

Scene jumps to Gandalf's home. He is peering at a beautiful necklace and comparing it to an illustration in one of his many books on ancient magic.

GANDALF (thinking to himself): It's a good thing I had the sense to take this necklace from the dead body of Arwenelia before Boromir and Gimli cremated her. This necklace may hold the key to saving all of us.

The Wizard recites a spell from the book. The necklace glows. Then from the corner of the room a figure appears as if from nowhere. It is Eowyn and her face is that of her true demon self.

EOWYN: How dare you use my necklace to summon me? Do you have any idea of the consequences of a male summoning a vengeance demon?

GANDALF: I had no choice. You're the only one who can change things back to the way it's all supposed to be. This is all your doing, isn't it?

EOWYN: Yes! I had no idea of the magnitude of the changes caused by that girl's wish. I love it! What makes you think I'm going to help you change it back?

GANDALF: You have no right to do this! I demand you reverse that wish!

EOWYN: No! And you are in no position to make demands on me! Give me back my necklace!

Scene jumps to the other side of town where the factory is. Aragorn and Legsy sneak inside. They see many innocent captives, including Gandalf's friends Boromir and Gimli who were swept up in a recent capture by the Orcs.

ARAGORN (whispering to Legsy): Legsy, if we both make it out of here alive after this is over, what say we catch a dinner and a show, and then head on over to my place? You're one hot-looking Slayer.

LEGSY (whispering back to Aragorn): In your dreams, dude.

ARAGORN (whispering to Legsy): I can't help thinking that in another time and place your answer would be more along the lines of, "I thought you'd never ask!" Or even better, "Let's skip dinner and the show and just go straight over to your place where you can shag me rotten!"

LEGSY (staring in disbelief, then whispering back to Aragorn): Are we here to stop Saruman or talk about your pervy desires for Elf muffin?

ARAGORN (whispering back to Legsy): All right, all right. But just try to keep an open mind, okay? I'm not a bad-looking dude, am I? Look at me. I'm tall, rugged, muscular, and my face is pleasing to look upon, right?

LEGSY (really annoyed now, whispering back to Aragorn): Can we table this discussion for later?

ARAGORN (whispering back to Legsy): Okay. (pauses) How much later?

LEGSY (rolling his eyes, then whispering back to Aragorn): Gah! All right, already! I'll go out with you! Now will you please work with me on a plan to stop Saruman?

ARAGORN (grinning): Yes! I knew you couldn't resist me!

Scene jumps back to Gandalf's home.

EOWYN: I said give me back my necklace!

GANDALF: Neener-neener-neener! Can't catch me!

The vengeance demon frantically chases the Wizard around the room as he taunts her and keeps the necklace out of her reach.

EOWYN: You are really pissing me off, old man! Don't make me do something you'll regret!

Scene jumps back to the factory where the presence of Aragorn and Legsy has been discovered by Saruman and his minions. All hell breaks loose as the battle ensues between good and evil.

SARUMAN: Get them! Kill them all!

We see the battle in slow motion. Innocent people scream, run and fight as best as they can against Saruman's minions. Aragorn, Legsy, Boromir and Gimli are the main warriors against Saruman and the evil Demon-Hobbits Frodo and Samwise. We see also Merry and Pippin who were turned into evil Demon-Hobbits.

BOROMIR (thinking to himself): Hard to believe those Hobbits were once our friends and that we shared many good times together. Now we may have to kill them. Can I bring myself to strike the fatal blow? Dear Merry! Dear Pippin! OUCH! That hurt! All right, take THAT, you frickin' Hobbit!

Together Boromir and Gimli grab Frodo and throw him against the wall where a large sharp piece of broken wood impales the Demon-Hobbit. Frodo turns into a cloud of dust.

Aragorn receives a fatal wound: a long wooden stake driven through his heart.

ARAGORN (gasping his final breath): LEGSY!

But the Slayer is unaware of Aragorn's demise. He is busy fighting for his own life.

Saruman pushes aside Orcs and people as he moves with determination toward the Slayer. He reaches Legsy, grabs him from behind and with one quick movement, snaps the Elf's neck, thus ending the life of the Slayer.

Scene jumps back to Gandalf's home.

EOWYN (out of breath from chasing the Wizard): You fool! What makes you think the world will be any better than the way it is now if you break my necklace?

GANDALF: Because it HAS to be!

He smashes the necklace with a heavy figurine.

EOWYN: NO!!!!

Everything changes back to the way it was right before Arwenelia made her wish.

ARWENELIA: I wish Legsy Greenleaf had stayed in Mirkwood and had never moved here to this town!

EOWYN (who is no longer a vengeance demon, but doesn't realize it yet): Done!

Nothing changes. Eowyn is puzzled.

ARWENELIA: No. I wish Legsy Greenleaf had never been born!

EOWYN: Done!

Still nothing changes.

Arwenelia walks away thinking out loud what else she'd wish for. Eowyn slowly realizes that her powers are gone and she is now an ordinary high school girl.

We see a group of happy students sitting together and laughing: Legsy, Frodo and Samwise - the best of friends.