Home | Literature Index | Movies & Broadway Index | Television Index | Music Index | Miscellaneous Index | Submit Your Own
<Arwen, bearing Frodo before her, charges for the ford with the Nine at her heels>
Arwen: "Narolim, Asfoloth!"
Frodo: "Uh huh huh huh... hey, baby. I'm, like, pitching a tent here... huh huh huh..."
<Arwen and Frodo cross the ford. The ringwraiths attempt to follow, but are washed away by elvish magic, Frodo swoons and falls to the ground>
Frodo: "Huh huh huh. Dude, did I just, like, score...?"
***a little later...***
<The Council of Elrond is held in the last homely trailer park in Middle Earth>
Elrond: Now, Ah don't want you boys playin' around with some damn evil ring. It could be dangerous. Ya gotta throw it in the Crack of Doom."
Frodo: "Uh huh huh huh... he said 'crack.'"
Sam: "M heh heh m heh... yeah. That was cool."
Frodo: "Shut up, dumbass. There's, like, elves here and stuff. We could totally score."
Sam: "Yeah! Score! That rocks!"
Elrond: "Are you two even listening to me? What the...? Sam! What the damn hell you doin' with yer hand in yer pants??? You whackin' it in mah trailer?"
Sam: "Uh... no..."
***much later...***
<Galadriel sees the Hobbits safely away from Lothlorien>
Galadriel: "Take with you these wafers of lembas, the waybread of the elves. They will give you strength on your journey."
Frodo: "Uh... okay. Thanks."
Sam: "Yeah. Cool."
<Sam unwraps a wafer and pops it into his mouth. He chews for a few seconds, swallows, and a glazed look comes over him as his eyes dilate madly. He immediately pulls his surcoat over his head>
Sam: "I AM SAMHOLIO! I AM A HOBBIT GRINGO! I LIVE IN A BUNGHOLE!"
Frodo: "Cut it out, buttwipe!"