What if "The Lord of the Rings" had been written by Britney Spears

Britney Spears

by Epigramcracker

okay--giving credit where credit is due--this one comes from my rockin sister! it's pretty darn brilliant if i do say so myself. and... pretty darn BRITNEY! haha. yeah, so get ready for Gollum's serenade to his precious:

Slave 4 U

All you hobbits look at me like I’m a little freak.
Well did you ever think that it’s the ring that’s makin’ me so weak?

Always saying little freak don’t try and run and hide.
Well I’m just tryin’ to free myself from the villain deep inside
Get it get it, get it get it (NOOO!)
Get it get it, get it get it (NOOOO!)(Do you want it?)
Get it get it, get it get it (NOOOOO!)(You know want it!)

I know I may come off tricksy, I may come off sly.
But I feel like singing, feel like dancing when the ring catches my eye.

What I want’s what I can’t have. What the hell, who cares?
All I know is I’m so happy when I see it shining there.

I’m a slave for you. I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I’m a slave for you. I won’t deny it; I’m only trying to hide it.

Precious, don’t you wanna, come back to me,
To another time and place.
Precious, don’t you wanna, come back to me
Leaving behind my name, my face.
(Lets go!)

(Like that)
(You like it)
(Now come to me!)

Get it get it, get it get it (NOOO!)
Get it get it, get it get it (NOOOO!)
Get it get it, get it get it (NOOOOO!)
[Panting]

I really wanna own you for myself,
(Wanna see you on me)
I really wanna do what you want me to.
(Uh Uh Uh)

Precious, don’t you wanna, come back to me,
To another time and place.
Precious, don’t you wanna, come back to me
Leaving behind my name, my face.
(Lets go!)

I’m a slave for you. (Take it!) I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I’m a slave (It just feels right) for you. (It just feels good)
I won’t deny it; I’m not trying to hide it. (Precious!)

Get it get it, get it get it (NOO!)
Get it get it, get it get it (NOOO!)
Get it get it, get it get it (NOOOO!)
[Panting]

I’m a slave for you. (Here we go now)
I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
I’m a slave for you. (Here we go) I won’t deny it, (Yessssss!)
I’m not trying to hide it.

(Want that!)