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"Come quick! CJ's doing Lord of the Rings!"
Did I ever tell you about that Ring that changed my life?
The one I thought, oh Lord, when I saw it lyin' in that envelope
All slim and smooth with that golden sheen, no markings
I knew that I had died and gone to ... Hobbit Heaven!
He had a real deep voice, a big-ass mace, his helmet kinda pointy
Steel gloves that fit him perfectly
Sauron wore an 800-pound cast-iron suit straight from
I dunno, what would they call it?
Moria or Dale or someplace like that? I knew it wasn’t local
Isildur said, "I got to get the Ring off that..."
He didn't have it for very long, the Ring was so wrong
It could get any Gondorian King into trouble
Can you guess what he called it?
Well ... the Precious
The Precious
Say - the Precious
It was a gold hand band, cool like the pass of Caradhras
Even after bein' thrown in the fire
Then I'll be fried, Black Speech on the side
Bilbo left the damn thing be-hind
All down to fear of Mithrandir
He called it the Precious
It was big bad evil Sauron's malice-fillin’ Rulin' power ring kinda thing
Volcano-forged, made to rule, made to bring, made to find and in the darkness bind
And if you don't take it to Barad-Dur
It'll slip right off your finger
Even if you call it the Precious
Say - the Precious
Gollum was in the Misty Mountains cold, gettin' old, eatin' fish
Three foot 4 and not an ounce of fat!
Bilbo asked, ‘What's in my pockets, cat?’
Gollum guessed hands, string and gat
His guesses were all blown, and in case you hadn't known
It was really the Precious...
Served an 80-year bid, first in Bilbo's crib
Then they took it to Mount Doom and in it went!
Brought Sauron's power to an end
That was 3021 and today, if it wasn't gone
We’d be getting et by orcs
The jewellery whose claim to fame was that they called it the Precious
The Precious...