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Gandalf on the Beach: the MIDDLE-earth warS
A theater work by Philip Glass and Robert Wilson with
additional words by Christopher Knowles
ACT I
The left half of the stage is set in a forest. Among
the trees are Elves, all dressed as Gandalf (long grey
robes, tall grey pointy hats, and long, grey wigs and
false beards).
CHORUS OF ELVES:
The road goes ever on.
The road goes ever on and on.
The road goes ever on and on and on and on.
The road goes ever on.
The road goes ever on and on.
The road goes ever on and on and on and on...
The right half of the stage is set in a dim room with
a round door. Sunlight streams in through several round
windows. Frodo is in the room making tea. Gandalf enters
through the round door, takes a good look at Frodo,
and then exits through the same door...
KNEE PLAY 1
Loud music. Bilbo and Gollum are in a dim cave. By their
gestures one can see that Bilbo is asking Gollum a question.
Gollum thinks and then answers. Gollum asks Bilbo a
question. Bilbo thinks and then answers. They exchange
questions until the scenery is in place for Act II...
ACT III
... In the center of the stage is an enormous bed. Eowyn
is on the bed, near death. Aragorn, Gandalf, Patty Hearst,
Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, and the Easter Bunny
stand behind the bed watching her with expressions of
grave concern.
EOWYN:
Gee, Mr. Wizard
Gee, Mr. Wizard
Gee, Mr. Wizard
If you see any of those long robes
Head for the hills with John Paul George and Ringo.
And now it is the turn of the tide
Tide Wisk Dreft and Ivory Snow is specially formulated
to clean your gentle cycle clothes
Your washable wools, your washable silks and your cotton
wools They could be very fresh and clean.
And if anybody sees that ring around the collar
It was everyday household items, not trees
Those nine dirty rings!
And you see there was this wizard...
...A spaceship descends slowly from above the stage.
The chorus of Elves boards the spaceship, which lurches
and then rises again gracefully and much more slowly
as the light fades.