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Gandalf:
I am the very model of a Gray Istari turned to white
I’ve quite increased by general knowledge, information, and insight,
I know the plans of Saruman who stands no longer over me,
I’ve even read the classics, from Candide to Madame Bovary.
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters Middle-Earthian,
I know the mind of Sauron and the major lack of mirth he’s in,
About the King of Rohan I am teeming with a lot o’ news…
Hmm, lot o’ news… Ah!
With many schemes and spells that will soon free him from old Sharkey’s ruse!
Hobbits: With many schemes and spells that will soon free him from old Sharkey’s ruse! (repeat x2)
I’m very good at Balrog fights through fire, water, and through stone;
And though I’m almost godly, to the halfling leaf I am still prone:
In short, in matters man, or elf, or even dwarf or Hobbitite,
I am the very model of a Gray Istari turned to White.
Hobbits: In short in matters man, or elf, or even dwarf or Hobbitite,
He is the very model of a Gray Istari turned to White!
Gandalf:
I know our mythic history, King Isildur’s and Arathorn’s;
And now I know the destiny and path that is King Aragorn’s,
I see the Eye of Sauron blinking angrily with growing fear,
And know that if the hobbits don’t destroy the ring, the end is near;
I am adept at differentiating ‘tween an Ent and tree—
The only wizard to be on the side of Treebeard is still me!
I still break out and hum “The Road Goes On” if I deem timing right,
And I can still recite those everlasting songs that Bilbo writes!
Hobbits: He can still recite those everlasting songs that Bilbo rights! (repeat x2)
Gandalf:
Then I can say the ring rhyme in the dark speech of the tongue of men,
I’ll recite it to you backwards then I’ll take it from the top again!
In short, in matters man, or elf, or even dwarf or Hobbitite,
I am the very model of a Gray Istari turned to White.
Hobbits: In short in matters man, or elf, or even dwarf or Hobbitite,
He is the very model of a Gray Istari turned to White!
Gandalf:
In fact when I know what is meant Ring Wraith shrieks and uruk grunts,
When I can cure poor Smeagol of his passion for the ring he hunts,
When such affairs as battles at Helm’s Deep I can predict at last,
And when I know precisely what is meant by Second Break-a-fast.
When I have learnt what prophecies have come from far Lothlorien,
When I know which is the best pub to sit and tell a story in—
In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental wizardry…
Oh, that’s a tough one… Wizardry, Gizzardry, Sizzardry… Got it!
You’ll say a former Gray Istari changed his hue with lizardry!
Hobbits: You’ll say a former Gray Istari changed his hue with lizardry! (repeat x2)
Gandalf:
Though my knowledge of dark quests and evil plots and of the skill of rhyme
Has only been amassing since the very rise and dawn of time;
But still in matters man, or elf, or even dwarf or Hobbitite,
I am the very model of a Gray Istari turned to White.
Hobbits: But still in matters man, or elf, or even dwarf or Hobbitite,
He is the very model of a Gray Istari turned to White!!!