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The Dark One went down to Hobbiton, he was looking for a ring to reclaim.
He was in a bind, 'cause unless he could find, he was bad as a horse gone lame.
When he came across a hobbit blowin' on a jug and playing it hot.
Well the Dark One jumped up on a mallorn stump, said, "Son let me tell you what:
I guess you didn't know it, but I'm a jug player too,
Now if you care to make a dare, well I'll make a bet with you.
Now you're pretty good, Mr. Hobbit, but give ol' Sauron what he's lost,
I'll take that ring of gold against my soul and I think I've got ya tossed."
The hobbit said, "My name's Frodo and it might take all I'm worth,
But I'll accept, you Maiar adept, 'cause I'm the best in Middle-Earth."
Frodo grease up your rim and blow your jug damn hard,
the gates of Mordor broke on loose and Sauron's come this far.
If you win you'll complete your quest and clear off Destiny's loom,
But if you lose you cast the world into doom! Hey!
So the Dark One chucked out his jug and said, "Guess I'll be first band."
And fire raged 'round his eyes as he spun that jug in his hands.
When he blew crack'd lips 'cross that rim, it made an evil groan.
Then a band of Nazgul joined in, beatin' on drums of stone.
(fierce jug playing)
So Sauron finished, Frodo said, "Well you're pretty good, Evil One.
But sit right there on your derriere, let me show you how it's done!"
He played Fire in Mordor, Nazgul done flew.
Dark One's in the house of Bilbo's nephew.
Old Took sittin' and smoking his pipe.
Stealing Maggot's turnips, boy are they ripe.
So Sauron bowed his head 'cause he knew that Frodo had won.
Packed up his band and gave his soul to Drogo's son.
And Frodo said, "Hey Sauron, come to the Shire if you ever want another go,
'cause I've told you once, you son of a gun, ain't no one jug like Frodo."
He played Fire in Mordor, Nazgul done flew.
Dark One's in the house of Bilbo's nephew.
Old Took sittin' and smoking his pipe.
Stealing Maggot's turnips, boy are they ripe.