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[Gimli and Legolas finished off the last Orc with dual sidekicks to either side of the Orc’s neck.]
Gimli and Legolas: (Simultaneously) That’s six! Still tied!
[Suddenly the Chief Abbot appears at the other side of the Moria Bridge.]
Chief Abbot: Why, you! How dare ya disrupt my plansssss!!!
Gandalf: Chief Abbot!
Chief Abbot: Fool! Haven’t you figured it out by now? I’m really the Balrog!
All: Ah!
Balrog/Chief Abbot: For years now, I’ve been exiled into these caves. But what you didn’t know is… I’ve found the lost book!
Gandalf: You mean…
Balrog/Chief Abbot: Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haaaaaaa!
Balrog/Chief Abbot: That’s right! The book of the five fiery fists. And I’ve finally mastered it too.
Frodo: Why, you!
[Frodo has flash-back of quick cut scenes showing the murder of his parents.]
Frodo: You must pay!
[Frodo leaps forward only to be thrown back by Gandalf.]
Gandalf: No! Your kung fu is still too weak. Go! Take the ring to mount doom. Learn it’s secret style. And avenge my death!
[Gandalf leaps forward, kicking the Balrog in the chest.]
[Balrog staggers back a few steps and then steadies himself.]
Balrog/Chief Abbot: Right. [Balrog gives thumbs up to Gandalf] Your beggars Kung Fu really is peerless. But still. You’re wastin’ your time if you think you can beat me!
[Balrog leaps forward, easily deflects a few of Gandalf’s blows, and plants an eagle claw to Gandalf’s throat.]
Gandalf: (Strangling) You’ve forgotten one thing. My secret kick.
[And with that, Gandalf slams his foot down on the bridge, sending them both into the abyss.]
Frodo: Maaaaassssttteeeerrrrrrr!!!!!!!!