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Opening Scene
Hobbits are partying. We cannothear what they are saying,
as there is some Fifties-dance music playing over the
entire scene. We're watching from a distance when suddenly,
someone may notice that a character has disappeared
from the upper most right-hand side of the screen. No
one notices.
All following scenes are to be acted with the same obliviousness
for anything strange or unusual.
Cut To: Interior; Bilbo Baggin's house.
Tight shot on hand with ring in palm.
Frodo: "What do you think you're doing with that Bilbo?"
Bilbo: "I don't know. I just found it. A ring."
Frodo: "Was there a finger attached?"
Bilbo: "No, it was just a ring."
Frodo: [deadpan] "Strange."
Bilbo: "Strange"
Frodo: "I think I ought to take this to Gandolf. He'd
know what to do with a ring without a finger."
Gandolf's Quarters
Gandolf: "Is that a ring without a finger?"
Frodo: "Yes."
Gandolf: "It seems we have a mystery to solve here."
Frodo: "Yes."
Gandolf: "You know, I think it could belong to this
mysterious person I saw the other day."
Frodo: "Perhaps"
Gandolf: "You might want to check it out."
Frodo: "Yes, I might."
Gandolf: "I'll meet you at the Prancing Pony. You'd
better take Sam along."
Frodo: "Alright"
....later in the movie, after many other seemingly completely
unrelated events happen...
Exterior, Night. Frodo and Sam are asleep. Sam wakes
hearing a noise and begins beating a dark figure crawling
behind him.
Frodo (showing emotion): No Sam!
Sam: I have to, Mr. Frodo! He's trying to kill you!
Frodo: No sam! No!
--small, miniature Merry & Pippin run in and out of
Gollum's beaten body cavity--
Frodo: No sam! No!
Gollum rises and bites off Frodo's finger before falling
into Mt. Doom. Frodo collapese as miniature Merry &
Pippen dance about.
Frodo awakens to find himself Gollum in Gollum's cave.
The ring is on his finger, on a hand missing a finger.
Gollum/Frodo: "The Precious! But someone is trying to
steal the precious!"
Ouside, Bilbo, who is now known as Sam, is entering
the cave.
Cut to Aragorn and the Elves fighting in Helms Deep.
Cut back to Gollum/Frodo, the ring slipping off his
fingers.
Cut to Arwen and Aragorn, Aragorn is King.
Cut to Elrond, whispering mysterious words in Elvish.
Cut to Isabella Rossilini doing a cameo as Galadriel,
singing "Ring Around the Rosy"
Cut to the miniature Merry & Pippin dancing over a distracted
Gollum/Frodo's head.
Cut to Gollum and Frodo dancing together at the party
scene from the opening scene.
The End.
(or is it?)