What if "The Lord of the Rings" Had Been Written as "Into The Woods"

I Know Things Now

by snoodle

(Frodo's Song)

Gandalf said,
"Straight ahead,"
Not to delay
Or be misled.
I should have heeded
His advice…
But Gollum seemed so nice.

And he showed me things,
Many sinister things,
That I hadn't thought to explore,
They were off my path,
So I never had dared.
And Sam is so careful,
We never had cared.
And he made me feel excited -
Well, excited and scared.

When he said, "Preciousss!!"
Dripping sickening puss,
How could I know what was in store?
Once his teeth were bared,
Though, I really got scared -
Well, excited AND scared -
But he bit it off
And he swallowed it down
Down a dark slimy cliff
Where lie secrets that I never want to know,
And when everything familiar
Seemed to disappear forever,
At the end of the path
Was Sam once again.

So we walk back down the mountain
Until Gwaihir picks us up
And we journey to the Shire
And we're back at the start.

And I know things now,
Many valuable things,
That I hadn't known before:
Do not put your faith
In a dwarf and a king,
They will not protect you
If you've got a ring.
And take extra care with Balrogs,
Even Hobbits write travelogues. (ouch!)
And though scary is exciting,
Weird is different from good.

Now I know:
Don't be scared.
Tom was right,
Just be prepared.

Isn't it nice to know a lot!
And a little bit not…