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SARUMAN: Hello? …Ah…I can’t hear to well. Do you suppose you could tone the torture chambers down just a little? … Oh-ho, that’s much better. …yeah … huh … yes… Fine, I can hear you now, Sauron. … Clear and plain and coming through fine …I’m coming through fine, too, eh? … Good then… well, then, as you say, we’re both coming through fine. … Good. … Well, it’s good that you’re fine and … and I’m fine. … I agree with you, it’s great to be fine. … a-ha-ha-ha-ha … Now then, Sauron, you know we’ve always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Ring. … The *Ring*, Sauron… The *One* Ring! … Well now, what happened is … ah … one of my council, he had a sort of… well, he went a little funny in the head … you know … just a little … funny. And, ah, he did a silly thing. … well, I’ll tell you what he did. He ordered his hobbits… to destroy your Ring… Ah… Well, let me finish, Sauron. … Let me finish, Sauron. … Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it!? …Can you *imagine* how I feel about it, Sauron? … Why do you think I’m calling you? Just to swear allegiance? … *Of course* I like to speak to you! *Of course* I like to swear allegiance! …Not now, but anytime, Sauron. I’m just calling up to tell you that something terrible has happened…. It’s a *friendly* call. Of course it’s a friendly call… Listen, if it wasn’t friendly… you probably wouldn’t even have got it. … They will *not* reach the Black Gates for at least another month. … I am… I am positive, Sauron. …Listen, I’ve been all over this with Wormtongue. It is not a trick. … Well, I’ll tell you. We’d like to give your Uruk-Hai a complete run-down on the hobbits, the travel plans, and their fellowship. …Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we’re unable to conquer Rohan, then… I’d say that, ah … well, ah … we’re just gonna have to help you kill them, Sauron… All right, well listen now. Who should we call? … *Who* should we call, Sauron? The…wha-whe, the Naz-… you, sorry, you faded away there… the Nazgul. … Where are they, Sauron? …In Osgiliath. … Right. … Yes. …Oh, you’ll call them first, will you?? … Uh-huh … Ah-ah-eh-uhm-hm … I’m sorry too, Sauron. … I’m very sorry. …*All right*, you’re sorrier than I am, but I am sorry as well. … I am just as sorry as you are, Sauron! Don’t say that you’re more sorry than I am, because I’m capable of being just as sorry as you are. …So we’re both sorry, all right? …All right.