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Frodo: (spots a lady going into the store) Excuse me, when did Sauron rule Middle Earth?
Cashier: I don't know. I just work here. (leaves)
Frodo: Wanna try the Thrifty Mart?
Sam: Sure.
(They pack up their stuff and get ready to leave, but the wind picks up and it looks like a storm's building. They look up and suddenly a phone booth comes right out of the sky and lands in front of them.)
Both: Whoa! Not bad.
(The booth's door opens and Gandalf walks out.)
Gandalf: Greetings, my excellent hobbits.
Frodo: Do you know when Sauron ruled Middle Earth?
Gandalf: Well, perhaps we could ask him. Sam S. Gamgee, Esquire and Frodo 'Froderick' Baggins. Gentlemen, I'm here to help you with your Fellowship.
Frodo: What?
Sam: How?
(Suddenly another phone booth drops from the sky. They turn and look at it.)
Frodo: Sam?
Sam: What?
Frodo: Strange things are afoot at the Shire K.
(The doors to the second booth open and another Sam and Frodo come out. For our purposes here this new Sam and Frodo will be Sam2 and Frodo2.)
Sam2: Dudes, you guys are gonna go to Mordor!
Frodo2: Yeah! You are gonna have a most excellent adventure through Middle Earth.
Sam: Who are you guys?
Frodo2: We're you, dude.
Frodo: No way. No way!
Frodo2: Yes way, Frodo!
Sam2: Look, we know how you feel. We didn't believe it either when we were you and we us said what we us are saying right now.
Frodo: Okay wait, if you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?
Sam2 & Frodo2: 69, dudes!
Sam & Frodo: Whoa!
(All four of them play the air guitar.)
Sam2: Look, we've gotta go.
Frodo2: Yeah, we gotta get back to the report. (they turn to leave and spot Gandalf) Gandalf!
Sam2: Listen to this dude, Gandalf. He knows what he's talking about.
Frodo2: Right! And Frodo, give my love to the elves.
Frodo: Who?
Frodo2: You'll see.
Gandalf: Gentleman…is everything all right?
(They turn and walk back to the booth.)
Frodo2: Frodo, don't forget to hide the ring!
(Frodo nods his head and pats his pocket.)
Sam2 & Frodo2: Thanks, Gandalf.
(They get back into the booth.)
Sam2 & Frodo2: Catch ya later, Sam and Frodo.
(They close the door and take off. Gandalf turns back to Sam and Frodo and motions for them to enter his booth. Frodo holds up a finger for him to wait a moment and he turns to Sam.)
Frodo: Dude, are you sure we should be doing this?
Sam: Frodo, you and I have witnessed many things, but nothing as bodacious as what just happened. Besides we told ourselves to listen to this guy.
Frodo: What if we were lying?
Sam: Why would we lie to ourselves?
(Frodo nods and they walk over to the booth.)
Frodo: (to Gandalf) How are you gonna help us?
Sam: Yeah, are you gonna call someone and get the answers?
Gandalf: Gentlemen, we're gonna do a lot more than that. (he dials the phone.)
Both: Whoa, excellent.
(Gandalf then hangs up the phone and puts on his sunglasses.)
Gandalf: Brace yourselves amigos. Gentlemen, we're middle history.
(The booth takes off.)