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You Can't Get a Man With a Sword (hmm...)
Oh my faaaathers were kings and sturdy warriors they say,
That's why I have "some skill with a blade"...
I could go ouuuut in the grass and kick orc-ass all the day,
But tell me what progress I've maaade....
I'm quick with a dagger,
Towards villains, rogues, and blackgaurds,
I could beat
Any slave or lord---
But my score with a feller
Is lower than a cellar,
Oh, ya can't get a man with a sword...
I'm cool, brave, and daring
To see a uruk glaring,
And a couple of them I've gored---
But a look from dear Strider
Can make me run and hider,
Oh, ya can't get a man with a sword!
With a swooooord, with a swooooord,
Oh, ya can't get a man with a sword!
When I'm out and sparring--
Some badguy's features marring--
Then I'm never a moment bored,
But I get all forlooorn,
When I'm with Aragooorn,
Oh, ya can't get a man with a sword!
If his acquaintance's worth makin',
He'll probably be taken
By some elf bound for Valinor...
But such love's bound to go on,
So much for girls from Rohan!
And you can't make him yield
In the field with your shield,
Oh, you caaaan't get a maaaan with a sword!!