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Rush: "And now we go to Frodo Baggins from the Shire. Greetings caller, you're with the Rush Limbaugh show on the E.I.B. network."
Frodo: "Yes, Rush. Mega dittos from the Shire even though I am calling from Rivendell."
Rush: "Rivendell? Is that near New Jersey?"
Frodo: "I'm afraid not. I would say it's a great distance from there. I would like to know your thoughts about the odds of a small group of adventurers avoiding entire armies of evil and successfully reaching their goal of destroying the one true Ring."
Rush: "Small group, eh? Sounds like you're facing an army of Democrats. What's this about a one true Ring? Can you tell me more about it?"
Frodo: "Well, it used to belong to a really bad guy named Sauron and now he wants it back. This ring actually controls nine other rigns and the people who wear them. It corrupts them and makes their souls evil in the long run. I guess you could say the ring acts on your mind and tries to control it."
Rush: "So this one ring actually controls the others and it exrts a form of mond control to make the wearer do as it pleases? Now's there's an excuse I bet Bill Clinton wishes he would have thought of during the Monica Lewinsky scandal. So how is it you are not being controlled by the ring?"
Frodo: "Well, for some reason, we Baggins seem to be immune to the ring's effects. For awhile, at least. It seems to have an effect on others in my group. Boromir for starters. He's been eyeing the ring ever since he stood up and made his speech about using the ring's powers for the good of Gondor."
Rush: "Who is this Boromir?"
Frodo: "He's the son of the current king of Gondor. He really believes that he can control the ring's powers."
Rush: "So he believes that one person should decide the fate of many others? And that he knows what is right for his people? Sounds like a guy to keep an eye on if you ask me. Who else is travelling in your group?"
Frodo: "Well, there's Gandalf, who's the one that started this whole thing by insisting the ring be destroyed. Then there's Aragorn, a noble ranger. Legolas is an elf that is from Rivendell. Finally, Gimli, a dwarf who wants us to travel through the mines of Moria, which his kin run."
Rush: "Wait a minute. You said an elf and a dwarf are with you?"
Frodo: "Yes, that's right."
Rush: "So they are representing the oppressed races, is that correct?"
Frodo: "Yes."
Rush: "Sounds to me that what you have here is your classic good against evil conflict. Left wing liberals are on one side trying to tell people that they know what's best for them. On the other hand, a small group of right-minded conservatives are battling against injustice and trying to ensure that the freedoms of all people are maintained. The odds of this group reaching their goal are small but not unattainable. In the end, good always triumphs over evil, so we conservatives will always triumph over liberalism as long as the message doesn't get lost. Did that answer your question?"
Frodo: "Uh, I think so. Thanks."
Rush: "My pleasure. Good luck on your quest. My next caller is Sauron from Mordor. Man, are we getting the odd locations today or what..."