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The Onion

by Pucky Schumer

Elvish woman considers getting pixie haircut.

Dwarf has, indeed, heard that short joke.

"Star Wars" fans trash LotR display.

"LotR" actor keeps casually mentioning the discussions of acting he had with John Gielgud.

Depressed roomate smoking a lot of pipe weed.

Black actor in "Lord of the Rings" insists he's not a Tolkien.

Killing of Orc discussed loudly near table of young Hobbit chicks.