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Graduate School Success Manual

by mocroidh

Doing What You Set Out to Do: The Smart Hobbit's Guide to Bearing a Ring of Power, by Frodo L. Baggins, Ph.D. in Ringbearing

Chapter One: This Book Can Help (and You Probably Need It!)

When I was bearing my ring of power in Middle Earth during the late Third Age, I did almost everything wrong. It took me almost a year to finish my quest, and by the time I finished I never wanted to bear a ring again. I had problem companions and a problem ring, and I eventually ran out of lembas bread. I spent the last month exhausted, bearing my ring up the rocky slope of Mount Doom, while trying not to give myself away to Sauron, the Nazgul, or the orcs - not my idea of a great adventure. The bottom line is that all my ringbearing could have been completed in three months if I had known what I was doing...

...Ringbearers run into problems because they do not understand how ringbearing works; nor do most wizards and elves provide enough realistic guidance. Therefore, ringbearers charge off in the wrong direction or in no direction at all.

This book tells you what ringbearing is really like. Instead of just telling you what you have to do, reminding you not to wear your ring, or telling you to check with your wizard if you have no idea what you are doing, I tell you how to create a comprehensive strategy that will ensure your hard work pays off with the destruction of the Enemy and your very own story about your quest...

Chapter Three: Do You Need To Go?

If you decide to become a ringbearer, don't do it because you don't know what else to do. Ringbearing, particularly bearing the One Ring, demands much more of you than just wearing a pretty trinket. The ring is heavy, costs are high, and the chances of success are uncertain. Your fellowship friends will be gone, and the environment will probably be neither as hospitable nor as safe as when you were in the Shire. Particularly for bearing the One Ring, the solitary nature of the work makes most ringbearers feel isolated. As one elf queen once said, "To bear a ring of power is to be alone."

Therefore, in deciding whether to go, be realistic. Weigh the costs, both in physical health and in time, against the benefits. Even a two month ringbearing job can make you substantially ill and place you in more danger than you ever dreamed possible...

Chapter Five: Choosing a Fellowship

Most ringbearers leave their decision about who goes with them on their quest to some imperious elf. Once embarked, they find out that their companions might not be as trustworthy as they originally thought. If you are a would-be ringbearer, this is the wrong approach. Because your companions will have such a tremendous influence on whether you complete your quest and destroy the Dark Lord, you should identify and contact potential fellowship members before you volunteer to bear the ring, and then determine whether they're going to be tempted to steal your ring and ruin your quest...

The ideal fellowship would advise you from your first tentative steps toward Mordor, help you hide from potential dangers, or even fight them off for you, help you navigate your way through Middle Earth, cook your food, and even carry you when you're too tired to go on. They would give you moral support, champion you against your enemies, help you get into Mordor, let you yell at them when you're overcome by the ring, cheer for you as you toss the ring into the volcano, and pull the strings necessary to get you out of Mordor before you are killed...

If you get a bad fellowship member, he or she may actively try to prevent you from succeeding. Even a nice person may believe that his or her duty lies in taking the ring and trying to use it for their own purposes, and he or she may honestly believe that you will ultimately try to claim the ring yourself.

Problems with fellowship members run the gamut, from idiocy that nearly gets you killed to quest sabotage...You can change fellowship members, but this might be costly in terms of time. Therefore, it is much wiser to avoid such troubles ahead of time by thoroughly investigating any fellowship member you are considering....