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Stock Plunges, CEO Missing
Stock in 3M (Mordor Mining and Manufacturing) dropped
88-3/4 points in heavy trading following reports that
a key asset is no longer recoverable, having been lost
in Mount Doom. Corporation CEO Sauron has not been seen
since the announcement. This is the largest stock loss
of the year, exceeding the 67-1/2 point loss suffered
by Isengard Industries in the wake of an unsuccessful
hostile takeover of clothing chain The Gap of Rohan.