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In the olden days, the wrings of power were made and
one of these wrings was made by the Black Duke Sharon.
Being a forgetful person, he lost it, and was defeeted.
The Won Ring fell into a river that had some water in
it. One day, a freaky little guy named Column was swimming
in the river and he found the Won Ring. He liked how
it looked, sew he put it on, and he became incested
with it. Eventually, he liked it sew much that he called
it "my preshuss."
After a rilly long time, a hobo named Bill Bow found
the wring when he was telling Column a joke. He liked
the wring a lot too. He took it back with him to his
home, which was named Baggins. Bill Bow lived in a place
called the Squire.
When Bill Bow was really old, he got sew small that
he disappeared (like a lot of old people). He gave his
wring to his son Fredo, who was Italian. Fredo didn't
rilly want it, but he took it anyway. Then a magician
named Randolph told him it was actually Sharon's wring
and that he wanted it back. Sharon was a very bad person.
He wanted the wring sew he could disappear to and do
all sorts of bad stuff when nobody could see him.
Fredo was scared, but Randolph told him he had better
go give the wring back right now. Fredo took his maid
with him, I think the maid's name was Samantha or something.
Fredo was actually rilly in love with his maid, just
like in that movie with J-Lo. Along the way, they met
some other hobos, named Mary and Pippi.
The hobos met a lot of people on their trip. One of
these people was a hippie named Tom Bombadeer. He helped
them get away from the Barrel Wrights. They also met
a man named Walker (he was a Texas Ranger) in a bar.
He helped them get away from the Black Writers. Finally,
they got to the place called River Dell. Here, they
met a lot of elvis.
The head elvis, named Enron, called a meeting to figure
out what to do with the Won ring. Some people wanted
to use it to make everybody disappear, but other people
said no, that it had to be killed. Everybody argued
a lot, and there was a lot of talking and not much else
happened. Finally, they all decided that Fredo should
thro the wring into a great big whole. He said ok.
A bunch of people went with Fredo on a fellow ship.
There was Gim Lee, who was a midget from China, Leg
O'Las, an elvis from Ireland, the other hobos, Bore
O'Meer, another man from Ireland, and also Walker, who
was rilly the king or something. Oh, and Randolph went
along too.
They all went into a rilly big cave named Maria, where
they had to fight with dorks and gobblings. Then a big
monster named Bal Rog came, and Randolph tried to use
his magic tricks to get him to go away, but Bal Rog
slipped and fell into the abbess, and he pulled Randolph
into the abbess too. Everyone was rilly sad.
After they stopped crying, they went to a place called
Dorian, where they met more elvis, including the queen
elvis, whose name was Glad Reel. She was kind of a strange
person, because she spent all the time looking into
a bowl of water.
They walked some more, and saw some rilly big statutes.
Then a bunch more dorks came, and they had to fight
them off. Bore O'Meer tried to steel Fredo's wring because
he was so scared of the dorks that he wanted to disappear,
but Fredo told him no, and he disappeared himself. The
dorks killed Bore O'Meer, which was rilly sad because
even tho he tried to steel the wring, he was a good
guy. Finally, Fredo and his maid went off together to
thro the wring in the big whole. The other hobos were
kidnapped by the dorks, and Walker, Gim Lee, and Leg
O'Las decided to follow them.