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(an extract from the summation to the Jury)
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client - the so-called
"Dark Lord" Sauron, as the press has branded him - is
entirely innocent of the charges of mass murder of which
he stands accused.
There has been a vicious and racially-motivated conspiracy
among the "fellowship of the Ring" (as they call themselves)
to persecute my client. The evidence has demonstrated
conclusively that they are totally motivated by self-interest
and thus uninterested in the truth. Just consider two
things if you will - who is this so-called "fellowship"?
A bunch of self-appointed do-gooders, like they claim?
Ha! One of them has, as a result of their "do-gooding",
ended up as King of Gondor! How very convenient - for
them. And how sad that so very many people had to die
for him to achieve this no-doubt praiseworthy goal ...
harmless Orcs and Goblins carrying out their folkways
"eliminated" so that Aragorn could sieze the crown!
How Democratic!
And consider the terms of abuse they have heaped on
my client. Even in public they call him the "Dark" Lord.
Is there, in these lilly-white Numenorians and Elves,
perhaps a hint of racial prejudice in this smear? Consider
how important *they* think having "pure blood" is! Could
it be that Sauron's *real* crime is that as a "dark"
being, he has dared to challenge the rather offensive
racial hegemony of middle-earth? Remember that his greatest
enemy was called Gandalf "The White"!
However, Gandalf and Aragorn are not on trial here [glowers
to indicate that perhaps they *should be*]; nor is the
so-called "fellowship", although even the very name
reeks of conspiracy. My client is.
As I have indicated all along, the prosecution's case
depends entirely on whether or not my client was the
former owner of the so-called "ring of power", and committed
his alleged crimes in order to get it back. But we have
all seen that this cannot possibly be the case! My client
is a wraith (although the correct term is "corporially
challenged"). He has no fingers at all! He cannot possibly
have been the wearer of the ring! Even if he was at
one time (which has not been proven), he certainly cannot
be now. There goes the *whole motivation* for his alleged
"crimes".
If you remember one thing from the evidence, remember
this: "if the Ring doesn't fit, you must acquit".