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Wolf: Hello this is Wolf Blitzer. Welcome to to tonight's
presentation of SHOWDOWN: MORDOR. We're live at the
CNN Centre in Atlanta with me are Jon King in Rivendell,
Andrea Koppell in Gondor and Christiane Amanpour in
Barad Du.
4 part screen shot of the various correspondents and
Wolf.
Wolf: In the studio are secretary of state for Mordor
the witch King , writer Robert Jordan, and Jesse Jackson.
Wolf: Christiane what the mood in Sauron's stronghold?
Christiane: Well Wolf it seems that preparations for
war are going at a frantic pace. President Sauron is
confident covert actions by special forces to regain
the Ring of Power will allow him to initiate his plan
for total domination of Middle Earth.
Wolf: it sounds quite dangerous, are you safe?
Christiane: Have you seen my hair?I'm quite safe Wolf,
They think I have Orcish Blood. Quite the compliment
in these parts.
Wolf: Er...Yes.
Witch King: I have laid my case for Mordor: Those elves
have nice hair and lovely voices. They are part of an
Axis of Evil along with the Dwarves and Neumenoreans.
Jesse: that is just racist.
Witch King: That's Typical Jesse. You don't care until
you think you can put yourself up as a "Warrior for
the Little Guy". Cheap Sellout.
Wolf: Jon King, having spent the last weeks in rivendell
can there be a political solution?
Jon: I'll be honest, The forces of Good in this struggle
are divided along ethnic line on the issues.
Jesse: See!!!!!!! I told you .
Jon: The Elves think they've sacrificed enough and want
to retire to their gated communities across the Western
Sea. The Humans are uncertain if "evil" is such a bad
thing considering the tax cuts Sauron has been promising.
The dwarves don't want to give up generations of hard
work to subsidise Hobbit welfare. Frankly Yugoslavia
was easier to figure out.
Wolf: Andrea...
Andrea Koppel: Hi Wolf.
Wolf: Baby, how are you doing you know I've missed you.
Andrea Koppel smiles
Wolf: Er..Andrea what the situation in Gondor?
Andrea: Wolf.. There's so much Machismo here....I'm
not surprised the whole place seems to be run by fraternities.
Steward Lott is having a hard time distancing himself
from allegations he used the derogatory term "Halfling"
at a private function last week.
Jesse: You can't discount the effect that's going to
have on the "Hobbit Street"
Wolf: We have to break for commercial...