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Lo, we have heard of Halflings
hombodies, of healthy appetite
and of Bilbo Baggins,
brave dragon bait, bauble-bringer.
He of home waxed weary,
world-wanting.
Prepared a mighty party,
packed possesions privately.
Invited great Gandalf,
gray wizard , lore-gatherer*.
Then amazed all,
activating ancient powers.
Disappearing completely,
duping drunken relatives.
That was a heck of a hobbit!...
*This word is, of course, badly smudged in the Baird
Codex, due to the tragic destruction by flaming mudslide
of the private library of M. Euslass. The translator
has chosen to discard the usual supposition of "igli"
or "hedgehog" as offered by the esteemed Dr. Dustimov
in his well-respected essay "The 'Frodo' Poet's Hedgehog
Imagery: I Have Tenure and You Don't". Instead, the
translator favors the more sensible offering of Professor
Prattimer, who suggests "lore-gatherer" in his groundbreaking
essay "Are You All Idiots?".