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Sauron strode into the room with the Witch King and
his Ringwraiths around. Since losing the One Ring he
had been without a great deal of his power, and planned
on getting it back. “Has there been any progress?” he
asked.
“We think we’ve tracked the ring to the Shire,” said
a Wraith.
“Good, good,” Sauron replied. “Do we have anyone there?”
“No,” said the Witch King.
“But we have plenty beneath Isengard,” said another
Wraith.
“Then get someone over there!” Sauron yelled. He was
an older being, years of dark plotting making him cynical
beyond his years. Because of his 20-hour work day, he
was more on edge than most and needed to use tranquillisers
to keep himself under control from time to time. All
of the attempts at locating the ring and his caffeine
intake allowed his schizophrenia to approach levels
which sometimes let him function in the real world.
In other words, he was exactly like the leaders of Rivendell
and Isengard.
On the corner of 10th and Brentwood, the squirrel scurries
down from the tree. Eyeing a nut, he bolts into the
yard and creeps back into the tree.
“The ring must be destroyed,” Gandalf told the council
at Rivendell.
“But who can undertake the mission?” asked Elrond. He
was an older being, years of dark plotting making him
cynical beyond his years. Because of his 20-hour work
day, he was more on edge than most and needed to use
tranquillisers to keep himself under control from time
to time. All of the attempts at locating the ring and
his caffeine intake allowed his schizophrenia to approach
levels which sometimes let him function in the real
world. In other words, he was exactly like the leaders
of Mordor and Isengard.
Various arguments were had, when Frodo Baggins, already
the ringbearer, volunteered for the mission. A fellowship
was soon formed, and Frodo was sent to Mt Doom in order
to destroy the Ring. And a young Elf muttered something
which sounded suspiciously like, “Ewige Blumenkraft!”
though nobody was able to prove this was the case.
Twelve large rhinoceroses, Glorfindel thought as he
focused his power to wash away the Ringwraiths and save
the Hobbits. It helped him to focus. Thirteen large
rhinoceroses, fourteen large rhinoceroses, and the water
was getting higher now.
(“You won’t believe this,” the post reviewer said. “Totally
unoriginal. Just going ahead, and consciously imitating
an obscure author he happens to be reading at the time.
Absolutely no sense of decency, either, in making the
parody, always asking questions about details. Listen
to this one, ‘So long winded, he moved Columbus’ fleet.’”)
“You have one chance to join me,” Saruman the Wise said
to Gandalf the Grey.
“You would plunge the world back into darkness,” Gandalf
replied. “I cannot allow that.”
“Then you will not leave here alive.” The two wizards
glared at each other fiercely, before Saruman began
the battle. He was an older being, years of dark plotting
making him cynical beyond his years. Because of his
20-hour work day, he was more on edge than most and
needed to use tranquillisers to keep himself under control
from time to time. All of the attempts at locating the
ring and his caffeine intake allowed his schizophrenia
to approach levels which sometimes let him function
in the real world. In other words, he was exactly like
the leaders of Mordor and Rivendell.