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An excerpt from Infinite Quest by David Foster Wallace

by Robot Arm

And so these orcs were heading back to their particular horde having only captured two hobbits, said hobbits having been manacled together and now being escorted, with somewhat more prodding than strictly necessary, back to the orcs' camp. And this outcome was not desired by all the participants in pretty much all the ways that a thing can be not desireable by people who are nonetheless doing it. As regarding the hobbits, they were as far from where they would have liked to have been as it was possible to be, literally and figuratively. Since being hobbits naturally meant that their wants were both modest and exceedingly particular872, and in so being were completely predictable. And were they in their hobbit holes in the Shire the amount of prodding and manacling was also completely predictable in the sense that it never happened at all. But the situation's utter lack of desirability among the orcs was somewhat more multi-layered. At first glance the orcs appeared to be in their milieu to the same degree that the hobbits weren't, except for the unbreakable risk/reward system which informed much of the orc hierarchy. And whereas it was a boost to one's standing to bring back live captives, the utter lack of agression they showed by being alive made it obvious that they had posed no risk at all. And so while these particular orcs had done precisely what was required of them w/r/t their tasks within the horde, everything about the outcome of their mission would open them to scorn and ridicule within the larger social structure, in that the hobbits by their very unfamiliarity would attract attention among the orcs, their small size and pitiful weapon-handling skills would show that their captors had not faced even the slightest danger, and that any attempt at mitigation by the orcs by pointing out that the very unfamiliarity and inoffensiveness of the hobbits indicated that they were undertaking a uniquely important mission would be seen as a pathetic after-the-fact attempt to rationalize873 the failure; and so but anyway these orcs would have no choice but to redeem themselves and relieve their aggressively bad tempers874 by undertaking another mission, which they would devoutly hope to be incredibly hazardous and the importance of which be damned.

872. Which particular combination of factors, vis. their simplicity and persnicketiness, put them in a strange position of being undemanding in a very demanding way, and vice versa. Which explains why hobbits interacted so rarely with the other residents of M.E., and they with the hobbits, but, again, for equal and opposite reasons.

873. No less pathetic for it being true.

874. Which explains why so many of the denizens of M.E. interacted so rarely with orcs. And then only once.