I then thought that my Uncle Bilbo would be unjust if
he ascribed my neglect to vice or faultiness on my part,
but I am now convinced that he was justified in conceiving
that I should not be altogether free from blame. A Hobbit
being in perfection ought always to preserve a calm
and peaceful mind and never to allow passion or a transitory
desire to disturb his tranquillity. I do not think that
the pursuit of knowledge is an exception to this rule.
If the study to which you apply yourself has a tendency
to weaken your affections and to destroy your taste
for those simple pleasures in which no alloy can possibly
mix, then that study is certainly unlawful, that is
to say, not befitting the Hobbit mind. If this rule
were always observed; if no Hobbit allowed any pursuit
whatsoever to interfere with the tranquillity of his
domestic affections, Gondor had not been enslaved, Saruman
would have spared his country, the Shire would have
been discovered more gradually, and the empire of Rohan
not been destroyed.
But I forget that I am moralizing in the most interesting
part of my tale, and your looks remind me to proceed.
My Uncle Bilbo made no reproach in his letters and only
took notice of my silence by inquiring into my occupations
more particularly than before. Winter, spring, and summer
passed away during my labours; but I did not watch the
blossom or the expanding leaves -- sights which before
always yielded me supreme delight -- so deeply was I
engrossed in my occupation. The leaves of that year
had withered before my work drew near to a close, and
now every day showed me more plainly how well I had
succeeded. But my enthusiasm was checked by my anxiety,
and I appeared rather like one doomed by slavery to
toil in the mines, or any other unwholesome trade than
an artist occupied by his favourite employment. Every
night I was oppressed by a slow fever, and I became
nervous to a most painful degree; the fall of a leaf
startled me, and I shunned my fellow creatures as if
I had been guilty of a crime. Sometimes I grew alarmed
at the wreck I perceived that I had become; the energy
of my purpose alone sustained me: my labours would soon
end, and I believed that exercise and amusement would
then drive away incipient disease; and I promised myself
both of these when my Ring should be destroyed.