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Lord of the Rings - Ringo Style

by MarkT

“Ok! Let’s move!” Gandalf yelled and gestured down the cavern, away from the fire. “That should hold them, but I don’t know for how long! Sergeant Aragorn?”
“Sir!”
“Redistribute Corporal Gimli’s ammo amongst the Hobbits. They can’t fight worth s**t, so they may as well make themselves useful!”
Shots rang out from behind the team as they dashed on towards the bridge. Goblin snipers had taken up vantage points in the walls and were shooting down at the fleeing troops. Luckily, they were well out of effective aimed range of Goblin AS-215 Shortbows.
“C’Mon!” the Leftenant bellowed. “We’re nearly there.”
No sooner had the words left his lips but his armour chirped and his HUD began displaying a glowing red icon.
“Shit! We’ve got Incoming!”
A Balrog class heavy tank hove into view, its many turrets spitting fire. The lighter railguns mounted on the sides for anti-infantry operations couldn’t penetrate the Fellowship’s armour, but the main gun, firing 200mm depleted-Uranium discarding-sabot rounds would wipe them out in an instant.
Gandalf reached the bridge and spun in place, levelling his own Grav-Rifle at the approaching leviathan as the remainder of his team sprinted past and across the narrow bridge to safety.
“Ok you mother f**ker…” He intoned, charging the gun and initialising his targeting software “… You ain’t makin’ it past me. So let’s dance.”