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Excerpts from "LordHead of the Rings Shrugged" by Ayn Rand

by RenMan

Excerpt 1

The Lord of the Nazgul overheard Frodo Baggins saying to the tittering hobbits, "Well, the Ring is the root of all evil anyway, and being enslaved by the Ring, the Nazgul are typical examples of greed and selfishness."

Frodo did not think that the Lord of the Nazgul could have heard it, but he saw the Ringwraith turning to them with a gravely courteous smile, invisible to all but the Ringbearer under his sable hood.

"So you think that the Ring is the root of all evil?" said the Lord of the Nazgul. "Have you ever asked what is the root of the Ring? The Ring is a tool of power, which can't exist unless there is a benevolent ruler strong enough to bring order and happiness to Men's lives. The Ring is the symbol and the carrier of that power. The Ring is a tool of invisibility with which to gain knowledge and hide from enemies. The Ring is the material shape of the principle that those who wish to create a world fit for living in must acquire the might and the justification to do it. The Ring is not the tool of the moochers, who soak off of others' power and benefit by it, who claim the Ring out of need, and do not even have the strength to use it, or of the anarchists, who would have you destroy it. The Ring was made possible by one who wished to bring such benevolent power into the world. Is this what you consider evil?

(and so on for five hundred paragraphs...)

Excerpt 2

"Excuse me," asked Aragorn firmly, "but why have we rowed ashore again?"

Legolas and Gimli looked up guiltily from their beached boat. It appeared to have been woefully mishandled and bore scratches from many rocks that the inexpert rowers had been unable to avoid.

Legolas stared straight ahead, saying nothing. "It's his fault!" screamed Gimli, red in the face. "He kept doing all the rowing, and hogging the oar. He thinks he's better than all the rest of us. I deserved my chance and I did the best I could! It wasn't my responsibility!"

Excerpt 3

The White Tower of Ecthelion stood at center of the inner circle of the great city. The archway over the gate was a Numenorean portico decorated with Noldorin motifs. Massive Proto-Gondolinian columns framed the doorway. The tower itself had been designed by Guy Francondil of the firm Francondil & Keatingmir. It was an exact replica of the Spire of Khazad-Dum, except that it was topped with a marble statue of Elendil in the style of the statue of Celebrimbor at Eregion.

In front of the Tower was the Court of the Fountain and the grassy lawn where once had grown the White Tree. It had been converted into a People's Garden for Sub-Normal Ents.