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People were always asking me, did I know Gollum.
"AAAIEEE!"
With a crazed and deformed Stoor clenching his jaw on your finger, you only speak in vowels.
With my finger, I can feel the half-chewed fish stuck behind his tongue. I totally forgot about the whole Ring destruction thing for a second and I wondered how clean his teeth were.
The cave we're standing in won't be here in three minutes. You take an ancient evil Ring of Power and add a 98-percent concentration of flaming lava. Explosion. I know this because Sauron knows this.
This is our world now. Two minutes.
Two minutes to go and I'm wondering how I got here...
Fade to a support group: "Remaining Hobbits Together."