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Well, it's been a busy week back in my hometown of Lake
Hobbiton . . .
One of our more prominent citizens had a birthday, his
eleventy-first in fact, which is something of an important
number to a Hobbit. It was old Mr. Baggins, who's always
been regarded as a bit on the odd side, not that we
would ever let that stop us from being friendly to him,
because that was of course our duty, to be friendly
to those of us who especially needed friends. Besides,
he gave us free food.
He came by his oddness fair, everyone always said, because
he was half Took after all, and Tooks were liable to
do anything. So it was really no great surprise that
every now and then an Elf or a Dwarf would come to visit
him. Now, this sort of behavior isn't really respectable,
for a Hobbit, and Bilbo Baggins was never regarded as
respectable ever since he had run off with a bunch of
Dwarfs some years back, but he was always respected
nonetheless. Free food will buy a lot of respect in
Hobbiton.
Just what he did when he was away with those Dwarfs
never did come out. Most people figure that's probably
a good thing. There were rumors, naturally, into which
figured everything from Trolls to Dragons to magical
chests of gold. But if any of those rumors were confirmed,
well, then he would go from eccentric to disreputable,
and we'd have to stop going to his parties, and nobody
wanted that. It was enough for us that he got it out
of his system, as it were, and he was back now and settled
down for good, and engaged in pursuits proper to a Hobbit,
mostly centered around food and comfortable chairs and
good pipeweed.
And now it was his eleventy-first birthday, and timefor
another party, and nobody knew what to expect, but we
knew it wouldn't be entirely reputable, but that was
okay with us because it would be Mr. Baggins being disreputable
because it was his party and not us. We were just guests,
and couldn't be held responsible for the behavior of
our host.
Well, our first inkling of just how unusual this party
was likely to be was when the children . . . ahh, the
children. They all loved Mr. Baggins the most, in part
because they got the most free food from him, and toys
and silver pennies to boot, which if you're a respectable
adult Hobbit you're not supposed o be interested in.
All the grown-up Hobbits of Lake Hobbiton envy their
children, because the toys Mr. Baggins has given them
for more years than most of us can remember look more
fun to play with than anything we're allowed to have.
But mostly the children have always loved Mr. Baggins
because he tells stories about going away with Dwarfs
and visiting with Elves, and having adventures, and
they can vicariously participate in those adventures
without having their elders brand them as disreputable,
and that's very important to a Hobbit.
Anyway, the children all started talking about it several
days before the party, so the parents couldn't help
knowing Gandalf was about. Now, Gandalf is a figure
even more unusual than Mr. Baggins. He was supposed,
according to the rumors, to lure young Hobbits off on
adventures and to cause all sorts of trouble generally,
but he made fireworks, and those were even better than
free food because they're somthing that adults are
allowed to think are fun. Besides, Gandalf isn't a Hobbit,
so he's allowed to be disreputable.
Just to add to the excitement, Mr. Baggins' nephew Frodo
had his birthday the same day. His thirty-third birthday,
which marks a coming of age in Lake Hobbiton, and that's
the only thing that could possibly compete with old
Mr. Baggins' eleventy-first birthday. That, and Gandalf,
and wagons coming in every day driven by Men and Dwarfs
and what-have-you all mixed together to give the whole
Shire something to talk about all week.
Finally the big day came around, and all of Lake Hobbiton
and half the rest of the Shire gathered together for
the Big Party. It was even better than a potluck, because
nobody had to bring anything. And right in the middle
of it, old Mr. Baggins got up to give a speech. Speeches
are not, in general, a popular thing with Hobbits when
there's food to be eaten, but politeness is a
big thing, so everybody listened politely while Mr.
Baggins was speaking.
That's when it happened. It was what we were all looking
forward to privately, something completely unexpected
and thoroughly disreputable, because it would give everyone
an opportunity for literally years to talk about how
unexpected and disreputable it was and how much we disapproved
of it. What happened was, Mr. Baggins just disappeared
in the middle of his speech. I don't mean he left, I
mean he was there one second, and the next he . . .
wasn't.
His nephew Frodo disappeared in the more conventional
sense a couple of days later. While something unexpected
was expected at the Big Party, this really was
unexpected, and caused a lot of talk in its own right.
It caused a different sort of talk, though. It caused
a lot of talk between parents and their children, about
things like adventures and Tooks and being respectable,
which disappearing isn't. And it brought back a lot
of the stories of Bilbo's first disappearance, back
when he was closer to Frodo's age.
It was generally agreed that the whole incident could
be ascribed to the Tookishness of the Bagginses, and
that Frodo would one day be back, and that when he came
back he would be accepted and loved, because he was
a Hobbit, and he was one of us, and it was our duty.
And parents talked to their children about how big the
world was, and how dangerous, and how they would be
loved and accepted whether they chose to stay in Lake
Hobbiton or risk going to see a little of it, but the
parents would be much happier if the children didn't
go to see too much outside of a short visit to Bree
every now and then. And in the days since the Big Party,
if you walk on the roads, you can feel families growing
closer together, and you can feel the whole community
growing closer together, and regardless of how eccentric
or odd or Tookish Mr. Baggins may have been, the community
has sort of rallied around him in his absence, saying
that all this togetherness is exactly what he would
have wanted. And they're probably right.
And that's the news from Lake Hobbiton.