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Diana Gabaldon

by mocroidh

Editorial note: in this version, Frodo is a time-traveler who has unexpectedly arrived in Middle Earth at the end of the Third Age, bearing a mysterious ring that is somehow responsible for his transportation. Oh, yes, and everyone but Frodo speaks with a Scottish accent…


We rode up on a gentle slope, passing a few abandoned crofters cottages, and drew up outside the inn. The buildings looked exceedingly strange to me; I stared up at the three-storied inn and felt my heart sink. How would I manage to fit in here? How could I keep the ring secret, in a place like this? After the day's events, I was frankly rather shell-shocked, and ready to find safety and a warm bed as soon as possible. Unfortunately, I wasn't sure this particular inn would provide either.

"We...we aren't going to stay here for the night?" I spoke up timidly.

The three kilted hobbits turned to look at me, expressions of half-bewilderment, half-exasperation on their faces.

"Aye, and wha's wrong wi' it?" said Meriadoc MacKenzie. "I expect it'll be good enough for ye."

I opened my mouth to protest, then thought better of it. I was beholden to these three hobbits; they had rescued me from the Black Riders, who would have done God knows what with me. Better to just make the best of things, as difficult as that might seem, looking at our intended accomodations…

…After freshening up as best I could, I made my way downstairs to the common room with the other hobbits. The crowd was large and mixed; the squat and easygoing innkeeper was conversing in the corner with two dwarves and some rather strange-looking men, while other figures – kilted men, hobbits, and several undistinguishable personages – minded their own business throughout the room.

As soon as we entered, a chorus of welcome sprang up from several locals; evidently, they knew my companions intimately. I was shortly introduced to a number of different individuals, none of whose names I caught – they were all Mc-something-or-other. The locals were friendly and inquisitive, and they especially wanted to know what I, a so-called “Sassanach,” was doing in the Breelands. Remembering my late uncle's occupation, I replied that I was writing a history and was interested in learning more about hobbits outside the Shire. Breelanders, as I was quickly learning, loved nothing more than to talk about themselves and their family histories. Eventually, though, I managed to convince them that I wasn’t quite ready to write my “book,” and they slowly drifted back into their normal conversations, leaving me alone. My companions were more interested, it seemed, in sampling the ale and catching up on clan news.

Suddenly, I noticed a strange-looking man sitting in the shadows near the wall; he was staring in my direction intently. A chill ran down my spine; was this one of my pursuers of earlier in the day? He certainly seemed as suspicious as they had been, and while somehow less menacing, I was still reluctant to meet his gaze. As the innkeeper passed by our table, I stopped him.

“Pardon, but who is that man sitting over there?”

Looking at me strangely for a moment – he was reacting to my uncommon accent, I realized – the innkeeper replied, “Och, I dinna rightly know. He’s a wanderer – Rangers, we call them. He hasna been here for a wee long while. I dinna know his given name, but we Breelanders call him Strider….”