'Austin Powers: Goldmember'
by shrdlu
"I'm from Mordor! Isn't that veird?"
*Saruman peers at Sauron*
Saruman: That makes me angry, and when Saruman gets angry, Sauron gets upset.
And when Sauron gets upset, people DIE!
Wormtongue: But--
Saruman: Sh!
Wormtongue: I'm--
Saruman: Sh!
Wormtongue: All I'm say--
Saruman: Sh!
Wormtongue: They're gonna get a--
Saruman: Sh!
Wormtongue: I'm just--
Saruman: Sh!
Wormtongue: Would you--
Saruman: Sh! ...Knock-knock.
Wormtongue: Who's there?
Saruman: Sh!
Wormtongue: But--
Saruman: Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before
you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of
"sh!" with your name on it.
Saruman: Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?
Gollum: I like goooooooooold! Precioussssssssssssss!
Legolas: *brandishes bow and strikes a pose* SHA-ZAM!
Fat Orc: *to Frodo* I'm bigger than you and higher up the food chain... so get in my belly!
Fat Orc: I ate a Hobbit! Ay, the other other white meat!
Gandalf: Do you know how many anonymous henchmen I've killed over the years? I mean, look at you. You don't even have a name tag. You don't stand a chance. Just lie down on the floor.
Saruman: I demand the sum... OF 1 MILLION HOBBITS.
Gandalf: So, er, little fella, is everything in the right proportions... down
there?
*Frodo nods*
Gandalf: Come on, don't be shy mate, let's have a look.
*Frodo unzips his pants*
Gandalf: Bloody Hell, you're a tripod mate! I bet you could lean on that?
*Frodo nods*