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Persephone
I finally cried in front of my daughter.
Had a minor problem with the sound on my computer, so I
haven't been glued to MSNBC.com. Got that fixed, though, so now I've got
the pictures I've been craving.
My daughter saw some stuff for the first time, too. The
replay of the plane flying in to the building. It didn't scare or startle
her, though--she's at the age where all she wants to know is "why?" about
everything.
I have three copies of the Flint Journal, all with pictures
of what's happened. I showed her pictures of what the WTC looked like before
this happened, then pics of the impact, and then pics of the pile of rubble
that is all that remains. She sort of understood the mechanics.
So, I set two boxes of baby wipes on the coffee table.
I told her that the coffee table was the ground, and the boxes were the
buildings. Then I knocked the baby wipes on to the floor, and told her that
the empty spot on the table was all that was left of those great big buildings.
That she got. But, she also thought that Mom knocking things
over on purpose was cool. She started to stack them up again, so she could
do it herself. With sound effects. Booms and crashes.
I got down on my knees in front of my daughter, put my
hands on her shoulders, looked her in the eyes, and said "Honey, I know you
thought what Mama did was funny. But let me try and explain. The people that
flew those planes in to those buildings did it on purpose. They wanted to
make those buildings fall down. They wanted to hurt all those people. And
that is why Mama has been very sad. Very sad, very mad, and very scared.
And that's why I'm going to ask you to please, please, please don't pretend
this."
And that was when I started to cry.
She understood that. Praise Goddess, she understood.
She still doesn't know about terrorism. But she knows now
that some people did a very bad thing, and they meant to.
She hugged me and told me to not be sad. I hugged her tighter
than I ever have, and told her that I felt better now, and that I love her
very, very much.
We spent more time looking at the newspaper pictures. I
showed her pictures of firefighters, and told her about what firefighters
do, and how great they are. I told her the same thing about doctors, nurses,
police officers, EMT's (I called them ambulance drivers, though--she knows
what ambulances are, but I don't think she'd quite understand Emergency Medical
Technician), and soldiers. And I told her that whenever she sees anybody
that does any of those jobs, she should smile and wave at them, because they're
very, very good people.
I feel a little better now. Somehow, I managed to get my
child to understand a little bit about something that I myself still don't
get at all.
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