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Nacho4Sara
I'm not in shock anymore; I'm just horrified.
I was at school yesterday until 1, when my classes were
canceled. I had found out about the attacks as I drove to school, but I didn't
see footage. It wasn't until I saw the actual tape of the second tower being
hit that I started crying, and I've been weepy all day.
What hurts most is that my feeling of safety has dissipated.
I was in work, using a box-cutter, and I started thinking how anyone could
just walk in a take out several people. I feel like all bets are off, meaning
none of us a safe.
Like Persephone, I definitely feel different. I
was only 13 when the Oklahoma bombing happened, and I have to say it didn't
touch me. I was in the middle of final exams when Columbine happened, so
I wasn't that involved. But this is so much more to me. I'm generally a pacifist,
but I want to kill the fuckers behind this. I was them to hang over New York
Harbor in effigy. I'm not patriotic, but I'm definitely proud to be an American,
proud to defend our nation and what we stand for. Hell, if we go to war I
would join the draft if I could. It's crazy.
I also feel much more connected to the people around me,
since this is something we're going through collectively. I want to hug and
bless (this from an agnostic) everyone I see. I even went to church last
night with my mom for a prayer meeting. I feel like my skin fits differently.
I've donated blood and made a donation to the Red Cross,
but I want to do more. I want to put on a yellow coat and cap and get in
there with the firemen. I want to go back in time and catch the people who
jumped.
I know this is very stream-of-consciousness, but I needed
to get it out of my system. Everytime I think of what a senseless, senseless
tragedy this is, I start to cry.
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